How long did it take you to get over a first love?

I have bad news. My gf of 3 months just dumped me two days ago over the phone. I'll be spending one of the saddest Christmas ever. Her explanation is that the relationship is getting serious that she's freaked out and doesn't know what she wants, that she wants to date others and kept saying ''It's not you, it's me, but you understand don't you''.

I understand nothing. We've known each other since our junior year of HS (now I'm 23) but were friends back then. It was nothing until 3 months ago that we dating exclusively (but we were already spending lots of quality time even before that so I already had strong feelings) and got fully intimate last month.

She was my first love and the only one that I've ever open up to both emotionally and physically. It takes me a while to open up. I don't even like sharing my secrets with anyone. Now it feels like time wasted I'll never get back.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The time immediately after a breakup is the worst because you feel like you'll never find anyone else like your ex. In time though you'll get over her and find someone special. Just keep very busy and don't have any contact with her and that will speed up your process of getting over her.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I don't know if i loved him but he was the first guy i cried for. We dated for almost a year and that was considered a long time for high school lol Since we had mutual friends, i'd still bump into him and he'd still buy me food. I got over him in maybe less than a month. I just needed the time to adjust to the changes. I don't like wasting my time moping about something thats been done.
    It's easy to get over someone if you have closure. It makes it easier if they're back in the dating field.

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    • Yes, I'll be back in the dating field soon. It's just sucks that I have to start all over again and once again risking opening myself. All I know is she'll always be in my memory. I lost it to her.

    • and it meant a lot to me

  • love lasts a lifetime, so no matter what, a little part for your heart will always belong to her. All that really matters is what you do with those feelings rather than being depressed, use it to make yourself a better person.

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    • I'll always feel that she'll have a special place in heart for being my first.

    • Honestly I think the "no contact rule" makes the process longer since you will have times when you miss her and just crave being with her. If you guys continue to talk as friends, you will still have a strong relationship, and you won't be as hurt or regretful towards the time you spent with her.

  • Kinda still on them but Im just saying a long time like all through out one-two grades in highschool, since he was not only my ex but my only friend at the time.

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  • it took me 3 months he lasted 5 years I felt all the tears etc then I meet someone else and i stopped thinking of him

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  • It took me 5-8 months to get over mine. I just used the no contact rule

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    • I will try that. Yet, she did ask to remain friends. I don't think I can ever see her as just a friend.

    • I wouldn't be friends with her I'd just stay out of contact with her. It helped me my ex and I aren't friends at all

  • how ironic that girls nowadays want to have such a fast paced relationship just to realize that they have commitment issues, and yet people still dont value slow paced relationships.. the irony is intense.

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    • I know right. According to a couple of my buddies, things are sometimes backwards nowadays because while waiting for the right guy used to work back then... if we're the serious ones that take things slower until finally being with her, suddenly she wants out.

    • well i understand why some girls want to be with a guy really early in their life, usually at that time they aren't committed anyway and thats fine, but the problem is that since its often so fast paced they can't develop a strong enough relationship as well as be too young for commitment, it works so much better when its done at a slow pace or your own pace, but most young girls believe in the idea of dating several guys in hopes of finding the right one, again something that makes sense but becomes a terrible idea for those who have fast paced relationships..

  • I really don't mean to sound rude but... you just kinda get the fck over it :/
    I mean I know it hurts and all that and by all means, cry a little, eat some ice cream, feel sorry for yourself because it's really sad what has happened... but that's life. It's not her fault, it's not your fault.. just wasn't meant to be.

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    • I didn't think it would end so fast. When she broke it off it felt like a slap in the face. But yes, will be getting back in the dating field soon.

    • I know it's painful... there is no denying that... "cry it out" and move on. That's all you can do.

What Guys Said 1

  • 30 minutes.

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    • wow that's fast. I'm truly depressed. That moment felt so special to me.

    • Once you quit forcing that "specialness" it passes.

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