Just ended a relationship, what is most appropriate to do?

I just recently ended things with my last bf; it didn't work out. I wasn't happy but was nice about it and talked to him.
I recently just met another guy but it's only been less than a week from the break up and we're close.
In realizing, I just don't want to rush and make a mistake, even the new guy has said that he deserves a fresh start without my ex being present; this includes my ex on Facebook or talking so much to me. the new one said otherwise he feels a sense of guilt like he 'stole' me away from my ex. there was a confrontation where my ex told the new guy (I haven't given him an official title yet), to basically fuck off.
I want to tell the new guy that I need a break. do you believe this will make him leave or he will wait? there have been invites to dinner at his family's place, and I doubt he isnt' taking me seriously as a potential gf.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, this is one reason why the no contact rule needs to be strictly enforced immediately after a break up.

    Go slow with the new dude but you're single and your ex has no fuckin' claim on you. He shouldn't even know about the guy.

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    • he (ex) said he's suicidal.

    • That's the go to manipulation tactic for controlling dickbags. If you truly believe he is suicidal then tell a friend or relative of his and let them handle it. This is unhealthy.

    • I told him to go see a friend/ family member and sent him phone numbers to counsellors

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What Guys Said 3

  • The most appropriate thing to do? Don't jump from one relationship into another. Take some time to catch your breath. You don't have to stay away from this new guy if you don't want to (though of course if you'd prefer some distance then you should take it of course), but I would suggest talking to your ex about what's going on, out of respect for his feelings. He might get mad, perhaps rightfully so because considering how little time has passed it perhaps says something about how much your relationship with your ex meant to you in the end, and of course that hurts, but also remember that you have every right to pursue happiness, and that however much your ex is in pain or however justified he might be in his anger, he has no say about what you are to do with your life.

    As for whether this new guy would be willing to wait for you, that would depend on how long you plan for this break to be and how serious he is about you. Remember though that you shouldn't want a guy to wait for you too long. It's not good to wait for someone to be ready for a relationship. If they're not ready then they're not ready, and that's too bad, but life goes on.

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  • This is empty drama. Do away with the new guy.

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  • If he's sensible, he'll pass you up. He's already seen that you are going to let an ex hang around and sling abuse at him. Clearly you don't know how to establish boundaries in your relationships, so what other nasty surprises is he going to run into? He was very nicely telling you to get your shit together. If you show you can, maybe he'll stick around, but you've got to show him a good reason to pretty quickly, because right now, it looks like he should walk.

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    • I wouldn't go far with attributions. I can't control peoples behaviour. no one can. I have laid down verbally that there shouldn't be escalation. I Can't quarantine my ex bf. if this new guy has consideration, he would know to give me time before he comes in for the swoop. the priority is my happiness and I'm focusing on work, jobs and a place to get before the new guy honestly.

What Girls Said 2

  • I hope you aren't one of those girls who jumps from knob to knob out of a false sense of security. Be fair to him and yourself! Don't talk to anyone for a month! Then decide what direction you want to go.

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    • I never want to do that. I don't have control over the swarm of guys who aren't good enough or don't give me time who constantly barrade me requests to be with them.

    • But you do control how you react or respond to them. Use the power you have to better yourself.

  • Don't Rush into anything, take it slow

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    • I am trying. and told the new one I need a break before I can start anything but so far sounds like he really likes me, and I'm taking time to work on myself

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