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Following steps are recommended for a break up (assuming that your boyfriend is not a psycho or has not been arrested for murder etc.) :1. First try to talk things out and tell him what is bothering you. This will clarify things in case of any misunderstanding.2. Don't beat around the bush. Be very clear and not judgemental or patronizing.( For example, if he is playing too much of video games, tell him that you are not happy about that. He should be spending more time with you.)3. Make it clear that this problem is very important to you and you can not be in a relationship with this problem being around.4. GIve him reasonable amount of time to sort it out.5. If, he does not change inspite of all this, then separate.Also, don't start dating before you break up. Give a decent gap before you start dating again.Once you break up, don't take him back just because he is unhappy or implores you. He has to be strong and handle that.On the other hand, expect similar treatment if he wants to break up with you.
Don't do the "so he wouldn't be hurt" thing.This often means that you're trying to hide your real feelings and reasoning behind the choice. Someone is bound to be hurt in a breakup and usually its the person who is being told they're no longer compatible with the other.You can deliver this in an adult manner with respect to the other person without being patronizing etc; as people have already stated.Secondly, don't do the 'we can still be friends' path. It doesn't work, ever and no you won't be the exception. It will lead to you two getting back together over the course of a few years, breaking up continuously and both of you making excuses as to why this is happening. Be real with yourself and then be real with him. He deserves this.
in a breakup, most of the time, someones gonna be hurt. that's just how it is. the only thing which is really important is to put all your cards on the table. let him know everything. don't hide any reasons why you broke up. be honest about everything. you loved each other and both deserve certain respect, no matter what the reason of the breakup was.people always show their true self when they break up.also try not to be negative or offensive. just be neutral about it. it doesn't have to be worse than it already is.
Theres nothing at all you can say to not hurt him. There is no magic phrase that will have him be okay and move on immediately. Break ups hurt but if its what you want, then you have already considered your own feelings more important that his. Not a bad thing but its the truth
Sorry to say it but if he cares about you he will be hurt, end of story. All you can do is be honest. Oh, and never try the "it is not you, it is me" line
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