Closure Letters to an Ex? Did you get a response?

A week ago II broke up with a guy that I was having a 4 month casual relationship with. Monday I decided to write a email to him explaining my side of the relationship and why I did the things that I did.

I didn't write it to accuse him of things although I did say in the letter that he never cared about me the way I cared about him and that I think he never even liked me and was just using me to get over his Ex. Although throughout the relationship he tell me that he liked me and treated me, sometimes, like I was his girlfriend.

Our last real conversation he told me he was still in love with her that we should stop "doing what we do."I don't him that we should just go our own way and that was that. I felt like that was real closure so I wrote the letter.

I know that some people do get some kind of reply but I don't know If I should feel like I should expect a reply back. I feel like after all the stuff did for him he should AT LEAST say something.

Anybody around here send a letter to their Ex and get a response back?

Updates:
I meant to say that "I TOLD him that we should just go our own way and that was that. I felt like that was real closure so I wrote the letter."

Also, the break up didn't have a fault. He said he didn't what the realstionship to contuite if I wanted more from him and I didn't want to continute with him if he was still in love with someone that didn't want him anymore (even he said what he was doing was stupid).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes. I did that once--the breakup looked like one thing, but the circumstances of this were genuinely not what they appeared. She did reply. Even now, I'm still not entirely sure how to interpret her response. She seemed genuinely... affected by my letter. Hard to tell if her response was positive or not. I think it may have been the first time she really ever tried to look at things from my side.

    Doesn't matter. Now that my head is clearer, I don't think I'd go back with her even if she was open to it. And she just got engaged, so it's a moot point now.

    I'm not sure if it was worth bothering to write. If it happened now, I don't think I'd have written it. I almost feel like she didn't deserve the thoughtfulness I put into it.

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    • Thanks!

      How long did it take for her to respond to you? I sent mine 3 days ago and I haven't heard anything.

    • It took her 2 day to respond.

      Sorry you haven't heard back. But honestly, that even may be best. When I got the response, I felt completely heartbroken before even reading it. I was so overwhelmed that I even received a response that I had to read it a few times before her words even registered. Even now I don't know how to feel about them.

      Not receiving a response may be a blessing in disguise. Besides--doesn't it tell you everything you need to know if there is no response?

    • Don't know if you'll see this but he responded to me a few hours after I asked this question. While my email was somewhat long his was only 4 sentences. I said that he felt like he didn't have to respond to the letter itself because "that's not how I think this things needs to be worked through." He just kept saying that he was sorry. I guess I should be happy that he wrote back at all. He didn't delete or block my contact info from his his phone (long story on how I know that) so my friends and family seems to thing he's coming back at some point. I did say in the letter that if things are better that we could try again...

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What Guys Said 4

  • Wrote a letter to my ex before. We dated for 7 years for most of university and the start of graduate school.
    Things ended - we moved on - but with loose strings and unresolved issues.
    In short, we got into an argument and I broke up with her one day. We parted ways and only spoke to each other once, approximately 3 months after the breakup.

    Many things were not said, not explained and not resolved. We never spoke to each other again.

    However, a number of years later, the loose ends were still bothering me. I would have dreams about sitting down with her and explaining the reasons why we broke up. Even though it happened in my dreams, there was a great deal of satisfaction and sense of closure. I decided to write her a letter - even though it was about 3 years after the breakup.

    The letter was not to get back together. It was to explain the faults that I made in the relationship, and that although we weren't together, I wished her a happy life with whomever she finds.

    But... no response :)

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  • If you do get a response it won't be a good one. Especially if you were the one to break up with him. I have got texts like this from women and it's just better not to reply. If we're broken up, generally she is out of my life. I don't want to have her back in just to cause potential drama.

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    • the break up didn't have a fault. He said he didn't what the realstionship to contuite if I wanted more from him and I didn't want to continute with him if he was still in love with someone that didn't want him anymore (even he said what he was doing was stupid).

    • Well it seems like your text has no purpose. You've already told him why you left him, why would you text him again to say what you;ve already told him?

    • I sent him a email. The email went into detail about stuff that we talked about in our last text conversation. The text was about 5-7 sentences, the email (sent 3 days after) was about a page long.

  • never sent a letter. I just tell them straight up.

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  • Yeah, and that response was... bad.

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