Was Divorce/Separation Worth It? Good and Bad?

Im going through divorce right now and once it's all done, Im not sure what to expect, what to look forward to - the good, bad and ugly of being a single woman or man again? For those who have gone through divorce already and are single again (especially those who were married for long period of time like me - over 10 years), what's life after marriage like? With hindsight, would you do it again given the same situation/circumstances? Please be as frank as possible, I'd appreciate it!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was married over 10 years when I divorced. It was a time of great revelation. I didn't realize how much of myself I'd lost in the marriage. I recreated myself and learned to love and appreciate myself again. I loved that everything in my house was mine. That when I went shopping I didn't have to think about anything or anyone else. If I wanted steak I only had to buy one and I could buy any steak I wanted. I could wake up and do whatever pleased me every day. It was a bit of a transition, thinking for one. But I loved it. When I began to date I was like a kid in a candy shop. But I loved that too, and took full advantage of it. For the first few years I was uncommitted and went out with the flavor of the moment. That was fun!

    The hard part is the lonely times. Sometimes you want the closeness of someone that knows you and understands you. You want true intimacy. That is harder to find... but not impossible.

    Just give yourself time before you step back out there. The world awaits. Be sure you are ready to embrace it. Enjoy the freedom of being you. A little selfishness is a good thing.

    Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat. I was dead in the marriage. Now... I am alive and loving life. I look straight ahead every day. My motto is... I don't know what is going to happen next... but I know It's gonna be good!

    • Man I've been waiting to hear this!!! Thank you pal! You took the words right out of my mouth. I've also lost myself completely! I had my house, I hate the food we set have lost control. The only thing I'm still in charge of is selecting the type of car or clothes I want to buy for myself. At least she doesn't choose my clothes for me ( yet!). The house is cluttered, she hoards all kinds of Junk in the house and when I ask her to get rid of some of the junk, it causes full scale animosity and she stops talking to me for days. I need to regain/rediscover myself!!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Omg yes it's great!
    Even though you want it to happen it's still upsetting and lonely no matter what , just don't give up and follow through with it.
    It's kind of like being at the top of a short ladder, you can't get any further with the marriage so you have to climb back down and start from the bottom again, at least this time when you start climbing you know the ladder is going to be as big as you make it.

    • Thank you, good to know! appreciated.

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