Why is heartache viewed as a good thing in the United States?

Adults are always ranking on us teenagers and young adults telling us, "Oh yeah, you'll have your heartbroken plenty of times," and in addition acting as if it's a good thing. I don't object to the comment as much as the attitude towards it, acting as if they think it's good for us to go through it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well, the idea is, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. heartbreak tends to help people see reality for what it is, let go of childish delusions. this is definitely an American thing, in my opinion. i have never heard anything like this in my culture. if anything, i have heard the opposite. growing up, my mom really emphasized not ever giving a guy control of my heart, never losing my head over a guy. love makes people stupid and reckless. well. according to her. lol.

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    • On the other hand, I think the best approach to love, as this woman says (here: www.google.com/url IS to go all-in because potential of heartache is the cost of choosing to date and take part in romantic relationships. So rather than worrying about it, your best bet is to love with your whole heart and completely make yourself emotionally vulnerable so you can enjoy the relationship most while it lasts and hope it does (the few relationships that DO last don't do so without complete trust and vulnerability). That will also net you the most amount of total happiness, if you think about it.

      But I don't mean look out for obvious red flags. I mean, if a guy or girl has given you no reason to believe they would hurt you, the best course of action is to "love like you've never been hurt before and never will get hurt" - all-in.

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    • Oh I know what you mean. I am having trouble coming to terms with the same thing. It's partly why I am in therapy right now actually.

    • i know. but i think maybe it has to do with people not choosing the right partner... moreso giving into fleeting feelings or lust as opposed to truly making the decision to love someone forever.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Heartbreak is incredibly painful. However, the first time is the worst. Breaks you down, and you either stay broken, or build yourself back up stronger than before. Makes you a much stronger person.

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    • What if you are unable to build yourself back up?

    • What should one do?

    • The reason I asked is because you're implying that the person in question has to build yourself back up, and I am wondering if it's more of a, "Time heals all wounds," kind of thing.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Um... I guess it's only because you mature more and more and gain experience and knowledge? That's the only reason I can think of. I'm from America and I don't see heartache as a good thing, wtf lol

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  • Teenagers are a time bomb of barely restrained hormones, mental incapacity and lacking in judgement. So yes, someone repeatedly needs to say watch out for etc cos you'll more than likely learn the hard way anyway

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What Guys Said 1

  • I didn't get my heart broken, and it's damaged my life.

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    • How so?

    • Failure is the key to success, I learnt that late in life. May not mean much to you now. But people are scared of anything because of the perceived failure (including failure in love and relationships) before it even happens. I never went for the girls who liked me. I don't know if I would have had a breakup or not, but I do know now that at the age of 32, I am terrible with women and can't attract them just because I didn't do the love/heartbreak thing. Wish I just did it and created good memories, even at the expense of heartbreak. Better to have loved and lost then to have never have loved at all.

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