My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, 1 of which has been long distance, In the past year we have been falling apart and I can't handle it anymore. I love him so much but our relationship is going nowhere, even though we both want to settle down together, because it will be at least 2 years more long distance and we have SO many problems because of it. We aren't the same anymore and I am completely conflicted with whether or not I should end it.
To make matters more complicated I have started falling in love with another man who I just connect with on so many levels. He has just got out of a long term relationship and has hinted that he cares for me but says he doesn't want another relationship now. We have been meeting up and I'm literally falling head over heels for him when I wasn't supposed to. I would end my current relationship to be with him in a heartbeat, or at least if I knew he would consider a relationship with me in the future as, to be honest, I am perfectly happy with just hanging out with him and being in his company.
This other man is confusing me as he has told me things (albeit when drunk) that make me think he properly likes me and he is affectionate when sober but sometimes I get the feeling he is trying to end whatever is going on. For the past few weeks he has wanted to come round to my house to spend time with me and said he turned down other offers in favour of me but he has turned my offer down twice now. I'm fretting so much that he is getting back with his ex or he has decided not to see me anymore... i really do care about him but because I'm selfish and afraid of being alone I don't want to break up with my boyfriend for the possibility that the other man will be with me in case I lose both.
My head is all over the place and I need to decide what to do about my boyfriend. I can't do this to him anymore. The problem is that I won't know what the other man feels before I decide, if I ever find out what he feels. :(
Most Helpful Guy
Possible he may get back with his ex. Look I got in a rebound relationship thinking she would be over her ex almost a year of dating she left for her ex. So it's a matter of time he will most likely go back. He needs to fully heal before he gets in another serious relationship.1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
You are right when you say that you are selfish. You keep your boyfriend around as a back-up plan in case the other guy won't be interested in you. Do you think it's fair to treat someone like this? How would you feel if your boyfriend also had a girl he is trying to pursue and only keeps you around as his fallback option.
Whether things work out with this new guy or not, please have the decency to end things with your boyfriend (and I mean now, not once you're sure you have another guy to run to).0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE