I hurt him and now I feel guilty about it. What do I do to.. advice?

So here is the story. Me and my ex broke up the first time about three weeks ago. It was a Friday night and I had told him I had Saturday off work and if he wanted to see me.. he was acting kind of strange. I asked what time he wanted to see me and he said I should choose but I said it would be better for him. Whenever we see each other on weekends (which is barely ever) we always used to see each other around 10 or 11 so we could spend the whole day together. But he responded with 2 pm and I said okay. I had got kind of frustrated cause it seemed like he didn't really care to see me at all given the whole week he hadn't asked to hang out. So he responded with "nothing I ever do is good enough" and "you have changed" and I said "maybe we should not see each other then." Yeah, it was a stupid thing to fight over but I dont want to see someone who doesn't really care to see me. So thats when he finally texted "this isn't working." So i called him to know what he wanted and he said things aren't working between us. So I was hurt because he had done a lot of hurtful things to me in the past and I still stuck with him because he begged me too and also because i loved him. So out of anger I said "I dont deserve this. I deserve someone who isn't just gonna leave me." I know it was a shitty thing to say I understand that, but I was mad in that moment. So he ended things that night. But we had gotten back together Sunday night when we were on our way back from church (his family gives me a ride) I looked at him and said "I am sorry to make you feel this way" and he looked at me and just grabbed me and hugged me sobbing. I felt so bad because I had never wanted to hurt him this bad because I love him so much. So he told me "stay with me, im sorry for everything" And so like a fool I did...
The next week I tried my hardest to give him space and not argue with him about anything at all. But he would barely text me, not even call at all,
So i asked if he lost feelings he replied "no its not that, its just after you aid that you deserve better I feel different about our relationship." I felt like he was playing games. I said "I am sorry I said that and I did not mean it because I only want you. But why are you with me if you feel different about our relationship?" And he replied "cause we want to be together." I felt used... I had thought we were gonna move past this but no.. we AGAIN broke up that night and haven't been back.
I take relationships very seriously, and I dont want to be with him if he looks at our relationship different.. So basically now he has told all our friends including his sister what I said to him so they all think im a monster. I already felt terrible about what I said, but now everyone not even talking to me for it is not helping me. At out church my own friend and his sister have been totally ignoring me and being with him. They also heard rumors I have been saying bad things about them.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The one thing that hit me when reading your question was your complete misunderstanding of each other. You said once or twice. "So I thought he was being funny," or "I thought he was playing games". You also mentioned you deserved someone who wanted you.

    You need to talk. What are you without understanding each other? You need to be at the point when you know what the other person is feeling, not just guessing it.

    You have the same intention, you like each other. So work together. Keep the games for the children.


Most Helpful Girl

  • OMG!
    Is there a short version.
    Genesis is easier to read.


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What Guys Said 1

  • First off! Jesus is not cool! And second, that's too long for me to read right now. I'll read it tomorrow morning.

    • You're assuming that he is playing games, he might be acting out unintentionally. I don't think he's playing games. He feels sad about the relationship, like he cares about you but isn't happy with the relationship. It has him torn between really caring about you and being unhappy himself.
      Just because he talked to his family for advice doesn't mean he did it to demonize you or shun you.

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