My gf is acting moody and distant with me all of a sudden, am I just a rebound or void filller she jumped from a relationship to this relationship?

Hey guys, well i'm 20 and me and my girlfriend have been seeing eachother for around 2 months, first month we were just friends but the 2nd month we offically got together and it's been great.

Sad thing is now i'm starting to notice red flags appearing and it's getting me really down because i really love this girl. First red flag well you know people say you need time to heal after a break up, this is exactly the opposite of what happened she was in a abusive relationship and broke up with the guy, as soon as she broke up with the guy she reached out to me and latched onto me. Thing is we met a couple months back but didn't speak much as soon as we met the first time she told everyone she liked me and i was a nice guy etc but i had a gf at the time and she ended getting a bf soon after aswell. I am now single so maybe word got out so when she broke it off with her boyfriend she reached out to me we became good friends etc, she was very forward with me like always messaging me inviting me places etc which i found really nice a refreshing because usually with girls you have to chase them.

She wanted everyone to know we was together posted me all over her Facebook introduced me to all her family and friends etc, so although people say wait after a break up we literally got together like 2 weeks after she broke up with her guy, before then we were just friends, but i thought she has pursued me she has put in real effort so she must have genuine feelings for me and she does.

Anyway, couple weeks into our relationship, she says she has doubts about me and isn't sure if she's ready for a relationship, saying she has anger she needs to let out and doesn't want to mess up our relationship as it's the best thing that's ever happened to her etc. We get past that still together but things have changed, she's more moody now less affectionate, more distant usually she would call and message me now she barely replies half the time... CONTINUED...
.. since that day things ain't the same am i just clutching on is this doomed already, maybe i was a rebound, she's told me all her ex's have lied and cheated i'm the nicest bf she's ever had as i'm loyal etc how she doesn't want our relationship to be a rebound but sometimes u never know it's a rebound until it's over she said this a while back by the way and i shrugged it off, were cool though i spent the weekend meeting her family etc, but things just ain't the same, should i be worried
... Thing is she suffers from depression which has got really bad lately, she's seen a counsellor for it etc, we have exams etc which has got her quite stressed, whenever she is moody i hold her and tell her i love her and im here for her, i tell her it's my job to make her happy when she's sad and lift her up when she's down i told her to unload all her problems onto me and i'll help her get through it. She told me thats why she loves me as all her ex's didn't care but then she's still distant?


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  • Ok sounds like she is a bit lost.. Maybe getting out of a relationship and getting into one was probably a bad move. Maybe she needed a distraction? She probably saw you as her white knight? You were there when she needed you and that made her confortae around her. I think you guys should postpone what you guys have till she is in a "healthy state" to get back into the relationship with you.. Exams is coming up, so it would be a good idea to hold things out for a bit till she is free from burdens etc etc

    • Yeah i think your totally right tbh, it all fits together now i mean, when we were friends she would tell me she's thinking of leaving her bf how she had bruises and he was violent and controlling, i just tried to be a friend to her eventhough i liked her, i waited until she was single before i was going to express that but it was like one minute she's telling me she's crying over her ex as they just broke up. The next day she's saying we should go bonfire night together, she's sleeping over at my place posting pictures of us there on her Facebook etc. So it makes sense, i mean i was just a distraction and a void filler, i mean regardless of how violent this guy was she must have really loved him they were only together for a year but she had plans to move over to australia to get married to him, she had her whole life sorted. Then they break up and she's a bit lost add the fact she suffers from depression aswell which got really bad she probably used me as a distraction...

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    • Why do you think this has happened though, i mean we were on some cloud of happiness for a month and now it's all just moodiness and distance i don't understand how or why this has happened do you have any idea?

      Yeah tbh the first issue we had where she said she had doubts about me was over this girl who started talking to me at a bar it was completely friendly chat but my gf got really angry when she came back and saw me talking to the girl. Afterwards she told me she has doubts because i'm too nice uno if someone starts speaking to me i make conversation and i'm friendly just as long as it's friendly conversation.

      Anyway afterwards she told me she has a lot of hurt and anger from her last relationship, how she's scared she's going to hurt me because she get's really jealous and angry for little to no reason and she can't control it and doesn't want to ruin our relationship, she said she spoke to her mum and her best friend about it and that maybe in a couple months...

    • we could try again when she's over all her issues and anger etc, at that time i was completely taken aback i mean we were so happy before that, that i was like i'm here for you any issues you have we will work it out together. She then said that's exactly why she loves me because i care about her unlike her previous ex's, anyway we get over that hump but things changed as i expressed earlier.

      Thing is, should i just let it go i mean i've done all i could i loved her unconditionally, was there when she was down i don't think i did anything wrong so should i just leave her alone and go separate ways. Or should i try and be a friend to her right now and let whatever happens in the future happen, thing is if were not together and were friends and she starts seeing someone else i will just lose it completely so maybe for my own sake i need to detach myself from her. Then again i care about her and i'd like to think we could be together once she get's over her issues, what do you think?

  • Oh man what a long question


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