Why did he go M. I. A after break up?

I don't know how to start. Well we both like each other. I met him through a friend and it was weird because it was like an instant attraction between us. I have never felt such thing for a guy before. And a couple months later after we met, he moved out of state for school. We kept in touch and I guess our feelings progressed. But I guess the distance is just hard enough for both of us so he said that he doesn't want a serious relationship at the moment. I also agreed because I know that I won't be waiting for him since I have to chase my future. So we both agreed that we should just continue with our things and see where it goes. Then out of the blue, he told me that this is too exhausting for him to think that there would be something more between us. And he said that it's best for him if I and him don't talk to each other anymore. I mean it was so out of blue that I'm still clueless to this day that maybe I did something wrong. I've been beaten myself up til now for this and it's hard on me because I can't move on. And thanks to social media, it's so easy to check up on people. But recently he has been going M. I. A for almost a month now after the break up. I know it's really none of my business because it's over between us. But i'm still worried if he's okay. I seriously don't know what I did wrong. Or maybe it's not anybody's fault but rather it's just not meant to be. I don't know.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As someone who forced a break up before having to move away to school, I can say that moving away is a big thing. My first week of school a guest speaker came and talked to us about love and relationships. Essentially the biggest thing I took from it was how hard long distance really is, the need for people to be together physically to bond and form chemical bonds in the brain is a real thing. Unless you have a strong bond already formed with that person, it's going to be close to impossible to maintain a distance relationship. Even with relationshionships a couple years old, moving away to start school is a major stressor. Not at all impossible, but tough. All through our 20's we are going to discover who we are, what we want, and change in so many ways. even if you really like someone, distance really is an ok and valid reason to not pursue, and sometimes end a relationship. We NEED physical connnection, and without being in eachothers lives physically, all to often we'll find that people change and may become non compatible.

    I think your friend realized this. That long distance is tough, and when deciding to move away, many want a completely fresh start. One of the hardest lessons I've learned, and I really didn't want to, was that we will love many different people in our lifetime. Love, while special, isn't a one time deal. If you open yourself up you will find love in many different ways and different people. He may have been a great guy and filled your checklist of dateable attributes, and it truly sucks he had to leave. But I promise another guy will come along and be more physically available and in your life, and you will be all the more happy for it.

    As far as him going no contact, Its easier to move on from something when its out of site and out of mind. He must have liked you quite a bit to want to take such drastic measures, if you guys hit it off so well. It's not you, its just a part of a healing process

    • You'll find another guy, I promise. Time heals all wounds, and you will keep soldering on in the game of love, because giving up isn't an option!

    • Oh wow! Thank you for your insight! I know that eventually I have to let him go. And I also know that time will heal, but for now everything just feels so shitty.

    • That my gal, Is what we call love! The highest of the highs, and the lowest of the lows.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just curious, why do you leave 'i don't know how to start' in? Like, you had time to figure it out before pressing submit. Are you attempting to express your feelings of confusion or something?

    Don't trip about doing anything wrong. He just didn't break up with you cleanly and quickly is all. Instead of beating around the bush, giving false hope where there was none, he left it simmer until he had to let you know bluntly.

  • It wasn't meant to be. Let it go... Sorry this happened.


What Girls Said 2

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