Is sending a letter a bad idea?

We've been broken up for a month. The relationship was great but toward the end went sour and he broke up with me. I was devastated at first but now in retrospect I was a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for. I got desperate, needy, and over all annoying. It's now the end of December and I'm thinking about writing him a hand written letter NOT to beg for him back but to own up to my faults in the relationship, basically say we were young and nothings anyone's fault that we just needed to grow up and just apologize for my end of things. Is this a bad idea? I think it would really help me and give him closure as well. I'm just scared he won't read it.
Oh also I would not send the letter until early February late January


Most Helpful Guy

  • He doesn't need it. You need it for closure. Yes, write it and then put it in a secure place to read years from now.

    • We talked and even hooked up after the break up but then it just ended on a terrible note. I just can't stand to leave it that way. None of if what so ever would be bashing him and none of if would be begging of pleasing for him back. We were friends for 2 years before we dated an I don't know I just feel like he needs it too, like he needs to hear if because he's confused.

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    • I'm gonna write the letter and hold onto it for the next few months. Maybe ill forget about it, maybe he'll reach out to me, the maybes are endless. But if by then it's still burning a hole in my pocket I will probably send it. I am not looking for a response, I'm aware of the consequences whatever they may be. Don't you ever wonder what would've happened if you sent all those letters? Although mine would not be a love letter.

    • My letters were not to my ex-girlfriend, but were more like prayers. My ex-girlfriend dumped me and she was already with someone else for some time. I lost and I accepted it, but I was still torn up inside. I would trade some emails with her in 1997, but no contact since really. She knew how I felt all along though. She reading those "letters to God" may have had an impact, but they never really had a chance. It's a long story and, right now, it doesn't benefit you or me to rehash.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If the relationship meant anything to him, which it most likely did, he WILL read it! Send it sooner rather than later! As time goes on, people tend to forget their feelings and although he may find it sweet, he could just brush it off. My girlfriend and I broke up nearly three months ago and I'm fighting like hell to get her back, especially now that she's in a new relationship. Love always comes out on top. If you truly love him, then write the letter out of love for him and what you honestly think will make him happy; don't write it out of selfishness and just to feel loved by him.

  • It's a horrible idea.

    • Why do you say that

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    • It's ok to disagree. My point is that you really should elaborate on your opinions because a simple statement like "It's a horrible idea" isn't constructive which is why she asked "Why did you say that?" If it is a horrible idea, say why. I do agree with you that the letters would mean nothing to him. What set me off is: "Express yourself if you want I guess but it just give you the chance to fuck with your own head and make it worse." Maybe I misinterpreted, but writing for herself won't fuck her up. Writing and SENDING, yes, that's not good. Nonetheless, I didn't like the way you worded it which came across as callous and cruel. A broken heart is not some simple black and white thing and this young lady is going through a tough time. A bit of empathy is what is called for.

    • Holy shit. No.

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