How do you get over an ex and stop checking their social network sites?

An ex and I broke up about 10 months ago after 5 years. She was my first real love and I was her first for everything. She started dating someone right away. I waited months and started dating someone else. She's a nice girl, and my ex and I still speak from time to time, but somehow it always ends with an argument (she said she can't be friends) and it sucks because I can't help but feel something for my ex, and every blue moon I check her social sites to see if she's doing okay. How do I stop doing it? How do you completely get over an ex?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I always believed that there are 4Rs for moving on.

    1.) Return of things. Try meeting up with her not for final sex, but for returning of everything she has given to you and by everything, even the tiniest and most insignificant thing she has ever given to you. Return EVERYTHING that reminds her of you. Even a keychain (if ever she has given you one). Always remember the tiniest spark can ignite the biggest flames.
    2.) Reverse bitterness. Think of things that will make you hate her. Think of her worst personalities, your worst fights, her grossest habits, the things you hate about her, but don't tell this to other people. Keep to yourself and always remember even if you two aren't together anymore, let's not forget to respect her. Just think until you don't like her anymore.
    3.) Rebound. As bad and as controversial as this step sounds, it's really quite effective. Enough said.
    4.) Revenge. No, not on her, on your past self. Get revenge on your heartbreak self by being a better person and not repeating the same mistakes all over again and I guarantee you, by the end of this, you'll be better.

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What Girls Said 44

  • Block her and remove her everywhere. Phone, Facebook, Twitter, instagram, whatever. Go out and do stuff. And simply DON'T look at her social media. You're in control of your own actions. You stop doing it by not doing it.

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  • Delete and block them from everywhere for at least 6 months MINIMUM. You are not going to get over them if you stay connected to them in anyway, including social media. You’ve got to disconnect physically, mentally, and emotionally. The physical disconnection takes place once you decide to stop seeing each other. Yet the mental and emotional disconnection may not even begin for months after because of exes who actually try to be friends -_- or stay connected to each other on social media. Blocking and/or unfollowing someone means you are completely deciding that you are no longer a participant in their life. That is absolutely what you must do if you are serious about moving on from this person. Make your thoughts less about them and more about you, your life, and the upcoming possibilities that don’t involve them

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  • Ik recovering from a break up is hard, but you're not helping the process any by checking up on your ex. From my last break up I had to cut all ties completely, delete his number, email, unfriend/block him on everything. Not having a way to contact your ex is the best place to start with getting over them. Try to make new memories with your new gf instead of trying to hold on to what you had with your ex. One day you'll be so happy with your new relationship your ex will be a thing of the past. Letting go of my first love was by far the worst thing I have ever experienced but I lived and now I'm even happier with a new guy. You'll survive just give it time.

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  • The first thing you have to do to get over her is put away all the things that remind you of her. If you are an Indian and have watched the movie Jab We Met, do the same thing Geet asked Aditya to do to feel better after a break up. If you're haven't watched the movie, let me tell you what to do. Just take a photograph of your ex, burn it, not completely okay because the last part is what does the magic. Take the half burnt picture to the restroom and flush her out of your life. You may be thinking, "Is she crazy or what!" But I must tell you, It works mahn. It worked for me, that's why I'm so sure.
    Then, what you can do is get involved in some other activity you like like gardening, painting or something else. Go for a holiday. Make yourself feel you are important.

    God bless. Anonymous ;)

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    • Then, about the Social Networking Sites. Just deactivate all your accounts for a while. Its for your own good na! Don't reactivate them till you completely get over it. I know its hard, but you have to do it. Just do it.

    • And, I don't think dating someone else so soon is a good option. Because the decisions you take now, when you still haven't got over your ex, will only cause harm to you and the girl who are dating. If it makes you feel better, I'm no one to stop you. :(

  • You need to cut your ex out completely which means no talking to her (even from time to time) and no looking at her social networks. Unfriend her on which ever social networks you two are on or at the very least unfollow her so she doesn't pop up in your newsfeed. This is the best way to truly get over her.

    Also if you still have feelings for your ex you should not be dating. It is not fair to the other person. Once you've really cut off contact with your ex take some time to focus on yourself and just enjoy being single for a bit before getting back out there again.

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  • Unfollow them. I know I Facebook you can unfollow someone and still be friends with them, probably other sites do this as well. I did this, and at first, I still searched them but now I realized, I only searched them when I was bored and I stopped myself. Now it's easy. Out of sight out of mind.

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  • okay well its gonna take awhile but there are a couple things to do.

    1) go out with someone! it doesn't have to be a date! you could just go out with friends!
    2) start doing things you enjoy to get your mind off her! try to do fast paced activities so you don't have time to think about her!
    3) get rid of all of her stuff. weather you burn it, cut it up, give it back to her, or give it to the poor! you have to get it out of your house!
    4) go to a party! thats one of the best ways to get your mind off of someone!
    5) maybe talk to someone about how your feeling?
    6) if things start to remind you of her, come up with a new meaning for them!

    hope this helps!

    Xx anna xX

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  • tell her. That's what i did. Was with my ex for 7 years. He dumped me. Then I would check his Instagram and see photos of him having a great time and whatnot so I just came out and said look. Block me and I'll block you and that will be the end of it. And we did, and that was the end of it.

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  • Focus on the new girl. I know it sounds dumb but it's cool how powerful our minds are, especially when we take control. When you see the new girl think, "Look there's ___, she looks gorgeous." lol I know this is weird. When you see your ex think, "Shucks, she's here. I need another problem in my life." The reason why this works is because you see your ex and wish u could have her, and you see the other girl as a replacement. When you start thinking differently you'll be happier and satisfied.

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  • It take time but to be honest with you, you never really get over and ex especially if their your first love and you keep checking on them doesn't help either. STOP checking up on her. Find something to get your mind off of her. Once you do that it well be like you never knew her. Your life will get better.

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  • I went through something similar, bit with my ex bestfriend. I know it may not seen as severe, bit she was my best, BEST friends. We were like sisters, but then she lost some weight, and decided she didn't need me anymore. That really hurt. So of course I cried my tears, but I slowly but surely began to recover. It takes pure discipline not to check her page. Ik because I have to stop myself from check her page sometimes. The more you do it, the easier t gets. Time heals all wounds.

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    • Aww I'm really sorry to hear that. :( Sounds like she was never a genuine friend. People like that really piss me off. I bet if something happened where she gained back her weight or something really bad happened to her she'd come crawling back to you. You're better without her in your life.

    • Thank-you. Isn't that what always happens. Smh. People are SO shallow, they always forget who was there for them in the beginning. It's sad because you could've sworn that person is better than that, but I guess that's where're the saying, "You think you know a guy" comes from.

  • Well, you can always delete her from whatever social media is connected to her. And don't date people if you aren't 100% sure that you have no feelings for anyone else. I think a big part of moving on from someone is time, you need time of separation. So basically, talking to your ex or even arguing isn't going to help you. You should probably stop talking or contacting each other. And if she can't be friends, you should respect her decision. It could even be your next step in moving on. You can't force yourself to move on.. it's something that takes time and patience. Just keep going on, and before you know it, you'll realize you've moved onto someone else and lost feelings for your ex.

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  • You can't move on if you still talk to her from time to time. That's not being fair to yourself or the new girl you are dating. I used to put a terrible ringtone for an ex and changed his contact name to "Do Not Answer." Then I eventually blocked his number. As for the social sites, maybe it's time to unfriend her. It's for your own good.

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  • A lot of people are saying "find a new girlfriend" but what you have to realize is that by getting a new gf, you're still thinking about your ex and you won't dedicate the nesesary time and attention to your current gf. Find SOMEONE. No, not like a gf someone, I mean, go out, find someone, anyone and just start talking to them, it doesn't have to be a girl, it can be a dude, but just talk to them, hangout with them, make them be the reason you forget her. Trust me, I know it's hard getting over someone you care so much about, but getting on with your question; you can just tell her to block you (she'll think it's a good idea and it will help you). I hope this helps based in the fact I'm 14, I mean, what could I possibly know about true love?

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  • Dear Anon,
    I'm not going to lie and say it happens over night because let's face it, it doesn't. If you still have feelings for her then you won't be able to help that. It depends really whether she is in denial or not? Ten months might seem like a long time but your ex might still be dwelling over your relationship. Stop looking for a girl and start spending time with the guys! Maybe you might just be lucky enough to get an even better girl come along. Enjoy life without your ex, go out and have fun! Don't be focused on forgetting instead simply let your mind do the job itself. I'm sure you'll manage it!
    I hope everything goes well :)
    Nicolex

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  • but the best way that you can try to get over you're ex is just trying not to make contact with her , not looking through her stuff , just to avoid her , and do things to get her off you're mind , yeah it might hard but if she did it right away and got with someone after you guys broke up then how come you can't do it?

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  • You will never get over her if you guys keep talking and remain friends. Give yourself a little distance from her and delete her off all your social network accounts, it's the best possible way. Finally, you should open your heart up to loving someone else. Just accept the fact that she's gone, and she's already found someone else. You should try opening yourself up to loving another girl!!

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  • It's soooooooooo hard! You have to accept it's over and take her out of your life. Cry and suffer if you need to. I know you're a guy and maybe you don't want or need to talk about it but talking really helps some times. I know it's going to be hard (i was there) but I promise you that with time you'll be happy again, there IS an end to the tunnel.

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  • Nothing wrong in checking out social media, coz its just info. But think about what u would feel if ur current GF did the same thing? What I mean is, it totally depends on the understanding u have with ur new GF.

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  • It's going to be hard but just unfriend/unfollow/block her from any social media. Go out and hang out with friends. Do things that will make u forget about her. It all takes time. Good luck

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  • take a breath. Right now as you read this. Okay, you need to pull back and spend time with yourself, go out and walk, just think, if you want to think about her, go ahead, be very honest with yourself. Just relax and learn to be alone and very in touch with your thoughts. When you learn to be alone, other people become distant to you in a way.

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  • What helped me when I got out of a five year relationship was to remove her from everything. I created a new Facebook account (so I wouldn't reminisce through all the photos and status updates about them) and blocked him on there.. I wrote a journal.. and something strange I did.. but really helped.. Every time I got upset or thought about him.. I would do some exersize... Like.. 10 situps or something. Going to the gym or getting a hobby will help too :)

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  • try to find a new girlfriend that will make you forget about her and all the stuff that you used to do.

    even if they say that its impossible to forget the first love and the first kiss.

    and i'm sure when time passes you will forget her and try to not think about her , also block her ,
    because if you don't forget her now , you may suffer in the futur.
    i hope it helped

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  • You just need to stop. I know its hard, but how about you delete the account? Let this be your new year resolution, dont visit the page, avoid it

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  • hang a lor first with guys try to dont be to involved with your ex. do you really like/love the person your re dating? if not find someone you so do.

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  • I feel like a lot of people go through this in their life. The best thing you can do is find someone else, and I know that easier said than done but trust me, you will focus more on that new girl than the old one.

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  • Have a life go out have fun do things that make u happy and be so busy u don't have time to think about her

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  • Find someone else, even if it's just to distract you. Only time can make it easier, so try to distract yourself while the time passes

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  • take a night out with the girls/guys and go unplugged. just you and your friends. no phones no nothing. when you get back you will feel much better. block your ex so you can't see their status updates and delete the phone number!

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  • You tell yourself they're death. You make a mental funeral for them :(

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What Guys Said 34

  • Can't, I'm still doing it 4 years down the line, but not because I'm in love with her anymore but just to see whats going on with her, I still loved her or felt strongly for her for like 1-2years after we broke up, time really does help and it's different for everybody, the fact that she dated another guy after pretty much no time with me also is what made me really sad/wanting her, basically it's just the chase and you just want her again, thing is if you had her your mind set would change again after some time and her not being this so important thing that you need, the major thing that can change you and stop you from doing it is finding another girl, its really the only thing that sets you free from it.

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  • Have you ever heard first love bro? A first love is someone that will remain with u for a very very long time even years. You have to cope with that. I remember my first love. About two years ago. Used to miss her.. Sometimes i do now. But not really. I learned to live with it. Just ignore it. Find a new person bro trust me. Its the best way. I have a gf now. And damn im so happy to have her. That finally after so long i don't miss my first love anymore. Ik how it feels bro. And i want to help u bc it sucks so bad. Plus same thing happened to me. She dated a guy quickly after we broke up. That part of growing up. find someone new. Bc all you have is memories. But yeah i feel you 100%
    Everyone has this. Mostly.

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    • don't know since it is food is first love bullshit, I remember my first love my highschool sweetheart, I hate that bitch.

    • Ok so I can't "talk text "to my phone. I said don't listen to the fool with that first love blah blah...

  • What I did and worked for me was go player mode or Don Juan and bang every girl in the world hahaha I'm jk no even though that is a good option it will only make you into a man who're and addicted to sex. What I did do was block her from social sites i had her on and don't reply to her texts but before all that I had a talk with her about everything I felt and told her it was time we both move on because we will never be and that left me clean from any feelings. Sometimes all it takes is a talk and action.

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  • Man I'm going through almost the same exact thing except I moved away for school and my ex totally mind fucked me by telling me she loved me still and wants me to move back so I decide to move back and she has a boyfriend so I moved away again. I'm hella sad about it but it made me realize it just simply wasn't my destiny. You just have to make your own luck and find your destiny I'm super excited to be out of the shit hole town my ex lives in and fuck her dirty ass hill Billy boy friend they can both suck it.

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  • Get off social networks?

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  • You replace them with new love! \o/

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    • Replacing her won't help if ur not over her. U prob just end up hurtin the new girl.

    • Then second best: Eat some Cocoa Puffs! \o/

  • Block her or erase your account. Stay away from the social media for a while. Afterwards focus on what you want do with your life. Make a set of goals and focus on that. From time to time your gonna still think about her but don't give in to those thoughts focus on the goals exluding her from your life. Be a man and show her you don't need a woman to be successful.

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  • get a life?

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  • We all have things in life we have to do that we may not like. Maby work sometimes. If u wanna get over her I think u need to distance ur self from her for a while. U can't have a healthy relationship with an ex if one of u still has feelins for the other. Best way to get over drug addiction is to simply not have the drug. Exes r the same.

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  • Time and distractions. This was a super long relationship, so it's gonna take time. Even she will be looking at your profiles for a long time. Once thing that can help is keeping yourself busy (art, working out, instruments etc) . I started playing guitar to get over a girl who rejected me in like grade seven (lol) and now I'm aspiring to be a musician. Channel that energy somewhere else. You will get over her much quicker and healthier that way.

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  • Listen to me Man , I'm facing the same shit as u but my story is less miserable than urs. I've been with her for a year and we were friends. Whatever we broke up cz dhe went back to her ex!
    U can get over her by being a Man ! Nothing else. Imagine urself as a green hulk running through mountains or a soul flying over the seas. Dont block her or anything bcz u will unblock her later. Trust me. U decide to get over her u will, u decide not to, u'll stuck in ur bed depressed and crying.

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  • WILL POWER and the TRUTH. Do you really want to drop your ex? Don't lie to yourself and do not lead her on if you are done dealing with her. If you hurt her the wrong way. It could leave a permanent scar on her heart.

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  • Time my friend, only time. Social media had increased the anxiety and length of time for someone to get over a break up. had this been 20 years ago you wouldn't even give it a second thought by now.

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  • Been in the same situation and the only way to get over them ks to find someone else to love.. Period.

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  • Truth is you never get over it. You'll always end up taking a peek just to see what's new with them. I'm guilty of it as well.

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  • Well get yourself a better and badder new lady , that puts the old one to shame or makes you say wtf did I even date her ugh...

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    • God I know that feelin saw an x in the mall the other day I had to wonder what I saw in her in the first place.

  • Live your life. Talk to as many women as you can.

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  • Date other girls, and cut any connections your have with her.

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  • You have to make a clean break or get back with your ex.
    You can't have your ex and the new girl. It isn't fair to the
    new girl. Block her and change your phone number.

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  • Every time you feel the pain find some way of venting it out. Like pumping weights, boxing get real aggressive. You really need to desipline your body not to head in her direction. Do your own thing

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  • Easy, stop getting on social networking sites. Period. They're the scum of the earth

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  • These stories make me afraid to fall in love...

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  • starting dating asap, that will help

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  • It takes me less than a week. I just move on.

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  • Watch anime

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  • The best way here is to find someone else to stalk. You won't stop unless you find a new relation.

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  • How to get over an ex? Pay attention to me because I'm a typing horse.

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  • thats pretty sad

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  • Two words:DELETE EVERTHING

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  • block her :)

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