He dumped me and now wants me back... What do I do? Are second chances worth it?

To keep it breif, he and I were dating for about 3 or 4 months. Things were going very well, but after leaving for a week long trip, I reached out to him and he claimed he thought we should go our separate ways & that he wanted to see someone else. It was truly out of the blue & I was not expecting that honestly. Following that I cut all contact with him & never spoke to him ever again. Fast forward to 3 weeks later, which was yesterday and I got a message from him. He said he made a mistake and that things were going well and he messed up. He also said that he wanted something more serious with me. He said he wouldn't have reached out to me if he didn't think I was important & he missed seeing me.
I've never been in this situation before. What do I do? Is a second chance worth it? I did like him a lot.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A short an simple answer I have always lived my life by is don't give people second chances as far as relationships go. So what you want but people honestly don't change so the mistakes they make the first time they will repeat. I know sometimes people actually do change but I have found that using this policy of mine and never doing a relationship over has made me happy and iv never regretted it. Hope that helps!

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    • I usually don't give second chances either... That's why I cut all contact and moved on... and you are right it has never failed me in the past either, which is why this is new to me.. We shall see. I agreed to coffee, but that's it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I can give you advice, but honestly it's what's in your heart that counts. I can understand you wanting to get back with him - is there a nagging feeling in your heart telling you you should? or does it feel more silly? sometimes there is no logic to love.

    My current boyfriend cheated on me when we first started dating, and all logic was telling me to dump him and move on, but there was this nagging feeling that I should give him another chance - so I did, and we've been together for almost 2 years now and are planning a wedding. It worked because he made every possible effort to prove to me that him being too drunk and cheating was the biggest mistake he'd ever made, and that he would never, ever do that again, and he never has and it took a long time, but I trust him again.

    When someone hurts you, it is a HUGE risk to stay with them - you know what they are capable of, so why wouldn't they do it again?

    I think you should consider whether or not you could see something serious happening with this guy or if it's just a fling. Maybe agree to meet him for a date (dinner or whatever) and that way you can gauge whether or not he got dumped by the last girl and wants an easy rebound or if he's actually serious.

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    • I think for every one of you there are 20 failures. Well done! I hope it's never an issue for you again.

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    • I will look out for those things! and try to be casual!

    • you go girl! you got this! This is really corny but here goes: in the end, just listen to what you're heart is telling you and you will know!

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What Guys Said 6

  • So he found he couldn't get get with another woman he liked and now he wants you rather than nothing. I would assume this unless he can honestly explain what he was thinking.

    Use your head, not your heart.

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    • I don't know maybe this is true. He did mention that he told her he was not interested, so that he could see me.
      I will definitely be looking for an explanation of what he was thinking and will make sure my heart diesn't cloud my judgement.
      Thanks!

  • Hella naw.. dat hungry wolf got enough of the other or have been lied to dump u for her. Why the hell would u acceot back a cheater o. O
    Nsive gurls these days thinken that they could change a man.. smh😔

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  • Thank God my mom wanted my dad back after she dumped him before they got married otherwise I wouldn't be here to type this response.

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  • Look i will frankly tell you that dont take him back at all... he was looking somewhere else... maybe his ex or some hot girl... he must have tried and failed to get them and now he knows that you will take him back... so that's why he is asking you to take him back... you look more like a side chick... dont do this... what if he dumps you again and chases someone else and then comes back again... he is just using you...

    If a girl did that to me i wouldn't take her back... why? HIGH SELF ESTEEM!!!

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    • I agree, from my past experiences. You date a guy, fall for him, and then he leaves you or dumps you (if he's nice enough, if he's an ass, he'll treat you like shit until you have no option but to do the dumping). And believe he, he left because there are other girls. And it doesn't work out, and he'll come back to you because he knows you're waiting and you'll take him back. Don't, trust me, raise your standards. Be with someone who will fully appreciate you the first time around, this has happened to me so many times before and taking 'em back has ALWAYS ended up with me getting hurt.

  • Worth it, it is not

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  • My thoughts: He probably screwed a lot of sluts then got over them and now wants you back cause he got bored. Hey i know guys who've did this. I wouldn't ever give him a second chance cause he obviously didn't value the first time to stick with you. If you do dont be suprised he'll be your of and on again boyfriend.

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What Girls Said 2

  • watch the movie 2 can play at that game haha

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  • If you really like him go for it!

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