I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because I was afraid of coming out as being gay to my friends and family and now he won't talk to me. Any idea why?

So a few months ago I broke up with my boyfriend. Ever since then he has given me the silent treatment. I didn't want to admit it to him at the time but I was so scared to come out to my friends and family that I had to end it. I then told him why I had to really end it in an e-mail and have been trying to get back together with him ever since but he has gone completely cold. Aside from one e-mail he has never responded to my texts or picked up any of my phone calls. Completely silent. I'm having such a hard time with this and I just don't understand why he doesn't want to speak to me let alone get back together. Does anyone know why? I've done some serious soul searching and realized I don't care what people say or think and I've tried telling him this and he's still ignoring me. Thanks for any advice you have for me!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Obviously he never loved you if he didn't even have the decency to respond after you poured your heart out about the situation. I know it hurts like hell but just leave him be. You made a mistake we all do. If he can't accept that and at the least acknowledge you then they as well have some issues they need to resolve within them self.

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    • That broke my heart reading it but may very well be true. Thanks for your advice. I want to believe that he's just emotionally paralyzed. I know he cares for me. He agreed to stay friends with me on Facebook and Instagram, but I had to delete him because I literally stalked him everyday.

    • I still follow him on Spotify and analyze the songs he listens to and they seem directed at me. Horrible though, songs like Silver Springd by Fleetwood Mac. It's so depressing, but I know he's thinking of me at least. I read all over the place online that the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse and immaturity. I don't doubt that. I thought he was better person than that.

    • For the sake of your own happiness I think you should stop "shadowing" him. I know it's extremely hard but it will definitely be for the better.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think he loved and cared about you for the person that you are. He accepted you as you are. And I think that you need to talk with your family and friends. I think that's the real reason he's staying away from you, because you haven't made that time to speak with them, you have to hide this from everyone and that means hiding him. It could make him feel that he is hidden, it's a secret kind of thing. If you are Gay, come out, do it, loud and proud and then let him know that you understand.

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  • Because you broke up with him.. He got hurt so much.. and possibly he has high pride..

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  • He probably dislikes the fact that you're not being true to yourself and that he has to be kept a secret

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What Guys Said 2

  • my worries that people just want 2 do unreasonable behaviour, i mean having sex was meant 2 be a male with a female why would we just harm ourselves? isn't that kind of penetration bad for health? why would we (male and female) have different genitals?
    my point is to just give it a thought... and i'm sorry if i offended u or anybody

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    • Thanks sir, you're entitled to your opinion. Love is love to me and it crosses genders.

    • I have a close friend that I Gay, and his parents are hard core Catholic... needless to say they made him go through Psycho Therapy to "Cure" him... and he went through it... he called me the next day and told me that he told his parents he was cured... but that was a lie. He said that he's gay through and through and have a Doctor tell him he wasn't didn't work at all, he told me why would he want to be ridiculed and taunted because it was "for fun" or because it was to be different. It's not something you can change.

    • @opinionowner That may be true we're born with differing sexual organs but it goes much deeper for gay men and lesbians. It's more of a mental wiring where at birth something occurred to where they identify more with the opposite sex. We can't say that what and who they are is wrong and unnatural... When in actuality this occurred naturally. They didn't ask to be that way. So yes it is quite offensive that you would say that being gay is wrong. You're telling these people that who they are as individuals is wrong and unnatural. That's why so many gay, lesbian, and Transgender people commit suicide so frequently.

  • Well im not sure caus im not gay my self. But I think u hurt him pretty bad by not comeing out. Sorry 4 askin but r u the woman in the relation ship or the man. I do know ur both guys an dont mean to offend but it would help if I knew.

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    • I'm the guy I guess. The top, if you know what I mean.

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