My ex-fiance doesn't get that its over (he cheated and we tried to fix things for 1yr). How do I speak to him w/o being a bitch and hurting us both?

Despite what he has done to our relationship (cheated and lied and put no effort in fixing things when given a chance - 1 full year to work on us!), I don't want to hurt him. Hurting him will hurt me too. However, I need to move on. I've moved out of our place 2 months ago and would like to start dating and living my life. Any advice on how to have this conversation and open his eyes to whats happened. He is in such denial...


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's very noble of you to try and spare his feelings, but the truth is - he didn't give a shit about yours, so what's the point?

    He shat all over the relationship, then shat some more by lying and proceeded to carry on defecating on in by not doing anything to remedy HIS fuck up.

    Girl, time for being nice is far from over. Just tell him to his face that you're done with with bullshit, you're moving on and cut him out of your life completely.

    • Thanks for your response! You're so right... I need to stop being nice. Really appreciate your suggestion!
      As I am sure you can imagine, it's hard to understand how someone you've loved so much could turn out to be such an ass.

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    • Oh wow, 10 bleeping years?

      Major douchebag, if after all this time AND such a huge fuck up he didn't bother to do anything to fix things. Give 'em the boot.

    • Yeah... major douchebag! Can't believe it. Thanks again.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He cheated so break it to high rough. He deserves no pity from you in the least just make it clear it's over and move on. Maybe that will teach him to not be a scumbag in the future and you just saved someone from a heartache! Hope that helps.

    • Yeah... sometimes I wish I could just be a heartless bitch. Life would be so much easier. Anyway, you're 100% right about him learning from this experience and (possibly) not breaking another girls heart. Thanks for your response.

    • He will not learn his lesson for sure, because she gave him a WHOLE YEAR worth of chances.

      Ending it nicely is only going to make him feel like the victor. You're trying to be nice, sparing his feelings and getting upset, while he just sits there like butter won't melt.

      If there was ever a better time to be a bitch, this is it!

    • bingo. The only "proper" way to end it is in a way where he feels like the complete shit he is. Call him out on his bullshit, all of it. Then Simplly flatly tell it's over, and that he can come and fetch any of his stuff you got in the morning (you should gather it all in a box, so it's clear you want him out FAST), before walking away without looking back.

  • Haha, yeah, that's funny...

    Not gonna happen.


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