How do I let my boyfriend know that he can't treat me the way he is and show him I will leave him?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 10 months and I was so in love with him and he was so in love with me. He would do anything to be with me and always ask to talk on the phone and always ask to come over or beg me to come over. Well this isn't the case anymore we both lived 30 miles apart and went to two different high schools but we stills saw each other a lot. Well he graduated in December and got a job 5 hours away and said he was going to live with his brother there. I thought that ment we were going to break up but he didn't want to he wanted to still be with me. My only condition for him leaving is for him to say goodbye before he left, and he looked me in the eyes and promised he wouldn't leave without seeing me and telling me goodbye. Well he did he left without seeing me at all, he moved away without saying goodbye to his girlfriend I was so upset and sad I told him he shouldn't have done that and he got mad at me and told me I shouldn't be mad at him he then said he will be down next weekend and I would see him then well he didn't come down then either, he them invited me to ride with his cousin and stay the week with him I was so exited and said yes and started packing well then the next day he said nevermind he dosnt wasn't me to come down. This hurt and made me sad he said itll be better for him to come down instead well he's not coming down. This hurt my feeling I even had a Christmas present for him that I saved 2 months for and its still sitting on a table in my house. I tried telling him how I felt and he got mad and was being so rude about it. I just sat on the floor and cried knowing the one who made me feel so amazing was all of a sudden making me feel the worse I have ever felt. I don't deserve this I love him so much but I don't deserve to be treated like this I want him know he can't do this but when I try I always chicken out and end up apologizing to him. I need help please someone help.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • (Under 18)

    The guy got a job 5 hours away and it seems like the only person you can think about is yourself. I don't know the details, but reading what you wrote, it seems like you're a bit too clingy. I don't know if you went to college, but working full-time does a number on you. When I was in HS, I was awake all the time and wanted to go out. Now being 21 and working full-time, once the weekend hits, I don't want to do anything. It doesn't seem like he is trying to distant himself away from you, but his schedule is just too full. I tend to do this a lot as well. I don't necessarily dislike my friends, but I'd rather just relax after working.

    You will understand once you start working and having responsibilities.

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    • Its not like I ask him to text me as soon as he gets off work he knows he can text me whenever he wants. I never text him first I always let him decide when he wants to talk I never ask him to come see me he tells me he is and then he changes his mind last minuet that dose not sound "clingy"

    • He just has others things involved with his life now. It makes zero sense that he would just stop talking to you because he doesn't like you after being obsessed with you before. The only reason why I said what I said is because most of the other answers are saying you should dump him, but you shouldn't. LDR can be hard, but he isn't doing anything that should be worth dumping him. If he isn't telling you maybe talking to his friends? Are you close with his parents? Find out why he hasn't been in touch as much as he has been.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Get a refund on the gift girl, gifts are for special people not just people who dgaf.
    The only way to show him you'll leave him, is by leaving him. If he wants to be with you, he'll beg you back and try to improve. If he just takes it when you break up with him, then you'll know it's what he wanted all along and you'll know why he was treating you like this.
    Do not chicken out and say sorry, wtf... He's in the wrong and YOU apologize? Please don't be one of those girls, you'll just keep getting hurt over and over with different guys.
    You need to know your worth, because you clearly don't, if you did, you would tell him when he's wrong and not say sorry for it. That's crazy. You need to be strong!

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    • trust me if I could get a refund I would it was a hand carved wooden picture frame with a picture of the two of us. I was to do all this in person but he won't ever see me so I can. Im stronger when im standing in front of him cuz over the phone he tries to act tough but as soon as he sees me he turns in to the big teddy bear

    • Show All
    • thankyou that was great advice. The only problem is he wouldn't talk on the phone with me If I begged so im just going to try to play nice and be sweet until I see him again and then write everything down and when me and him are alone im going to tell him everything

    • Good luck. Just don't spend more time on worrying about him that you'll regret later on.
      If he changes, fair enough, but it's doubtful he will. He's luckier to have you than you him, it's quite obvious to everybody, so just remember that aswel when you see him.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I know how tuff it can be, but you can make it work. Me and my current ex just broke up cause she left for her ex. But back it all up we lived in the same town and she moved 40 mins away. Guess what I still came down like four to five times a week to see her and she kind of did the same. I was not going to let distance be an excuse to see my gf. She's 18 and I'm 21, I've been working at the casino but get paid about $450 every two weeks with hella free time. But I decided to quit and get a full time Job working M-F getting paid $450 weekly, was I tired hell yes started 6am to when ever we get off, who knows when we do usually a lot of overtime. But I would still come out there and spend time with my gf, I knew I took this job for money so we can do things as a couple and just have fun. I've always put her ahead of everything, and he can to if he chooses to. Now he should have seen you before he left, and he needs to stop canceling plans everytime. I know If I was with you and I left to work 5hours away from you I would rather stay with you then be 5 hours away. That's too hard for me to live over there knowing I have a gf back at home and guess what she's not getting any physicall love from me only verbal, and I wouldn't be supirsed of things go south sooner or later. So you need him to man up and realize he as you back at home and if you want it to work he needs to be available more. Or honestly things won't work out.

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  • Just say he needs to have more consideration for you or you'll leave him.

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  • Didn't like my advice :-(

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    • I did it was very good adivice I just want to know how do I tell him im leaving him because I don't deserve to be treated like that

    • You just tell him just like that. Just say " look you have dissed me three times, you have made no effort since you left to come to see me or have me come to see you, and I deserve better. I am moving on." Make it that plain and simple. He is going to get mad, but so what it is his own fault.

      You can do it... you respect yourself. If you don't, no one else will.

  • You don't. You won't for some time.

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  • I don't understand how you could love someone you know is now treating you poorly. Keyword, now. Don't you think it's time to move on. He's now graduated and lives 5 hours away, most ldr's don't survive

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What Girls Said 4

  • He has lost interest in the relationship. You can't force him to behave a certain way, you can only decide what is acceptable to you and what isn't. If he isn't treating you the way you want him to then end the relationship.

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  • Ugh sounds like he is enjoying his new life... without you. Forget him, you deserve someone who treats you better than this. Tell him you're gone. Then, go.

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  • Chances are in 5 years you won't remember his name. If you don't feel like he's deserving of you then break up with him and find someone who is.

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  • Douche. Douche. Doucheeee.
    He isn't gonna change. He cares about himself, that's really it.
    I'd say move on and find someone who has decency.

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