Girlfriend aid she think she should be by herself but loves me so wants to take our relationship day by day, what does this mean, please HELP?

My gf just told me she has thoughts that she thinks it's best for her to be by herself, but because she loves me wants to take our relationship day by day? What does this mean.

I'm 19 and my gf is 19 we have only been together for a couple months now, she basically told me this after a mini disagreement. A month or so ago she told me maybe she isn't ready to be in a relationship, said she's still hurt from her previous relationship we got together quite soon after she broke up with her ex boyfriend. She said she still has anger etc from that past experience which she hasn't let out and is putting it on me which is hurting our relationship and it's not fair etc. We got over that hump stayed together but tbh it still bothers me that she even considered being without me, you know when your in a relationship you believe in all that fairystale crap like your gunna be together forever, i can't even fathom feeling like i don't want to be with her because i love her, but she can fathom being without me tha'ts got me worried.

Over the past month things have been ok highs and lows she's been quite moody and of with me at times distant but then fine and loving again. Today we just had a playful argument nothing serious just a jokey light hearted thing like arguing over which trainers are nicer etc. At the end of it she tells me she loves me but i annoy her, it makes her stressed etc. Said she thinks about being by herself daily but since our convo a month ago where she said she wasn't ready for a relationship, she decided as she loves me to take our relationship day by day?

Could you explain to me, What does this mean, is this coming to an end or is there anything i can do to save or rectify this. I could just tell he that i love her and want us to fight for this relationship. But i don't know, should i stop worrying and not take the relationship to seriously i don't know her saying that has me feeling a bit weird. What should i do from this point onwards?


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What Girls Said 3

  • I suggest you to stay cool and give her some time. Ask for a break maybe, hang out with friends, other people, one day she will miss you and come back to you ready to start everything once again

  • She just needs some "me" time, she's hirting and needs to heal herself. If you love her be patient and when she needs a shoulder be her friend first. Your a good man!

  • She's super sensitive now, still healing from past arguments and mis matching with The One that proved less than that. Every time you step on her toes, she feels pain when others normal would not & reminds her of those argument pains, harsh words of past. Obviously, you/her are not a perfect match or in harmony but in time, people grow together and make the most of what joys are in common.

    DO? Be patient, understand her wound and let it heal w/o further poking it, focus on commonalities & shared joys... wait, wait, wait and never fell the pains/sewage she must allow to drain from her onto/through you in order to heal.

    • Thanks so much for your answers, how exactly do i be patient as a form of action though, should i slow the relationship down, give her space, maybe spending less time together will give her some me time which will allow her to get rid of her prior pain. Focus on doing fun things together to keep the spark going without smothering her by calling her and texting her daily. We used to speak literally multiple times a day every day and it was fine a lot of the times she would contact me and vice versa so it was mutual at the start but maybe now as she's saying she wants to take it day by day, maybe she needs more space less contact, less doing everything together more giving eachother space?

    • Patience action = "I want this now" in your head is met with a more disciplined "wait like a farmer planting a seed and you will be rewarded beyond this "now" need"
      Slower, etc. = no question should be on this... you are doing exactly what she wants/needs while still showing love/passion for her
      Give the space and she has full rein to leave or return to you for good
      Don't give the space and this tight rein she'll forever be glad to be free when escaping

      Even if this means she's testing out a competitor, better now than later when too involved, in fact his failure creates a strong cement of her to you

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