Am I wrong in the situation?

So I have broken up with my EX for almost 3 weeks now. No contact whatsoever. Anyway, his sister reached out to me because my EX asked for my help. Obviously, I denied the help and went to my mother to vent. As I was speaking, my mother interrupts me to say how she didn't believe I was over him and etc. Now if im going to vent, I dont want to hear how im not over him and how I shouldn't even care about him. Obviously, I still love him, he's my first but I dont want him.
Anyway, my mother and I got into a big argument.
Am I wrong for even getting upset? Should I have not vented in the first place?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it really depends on how and why you guys broke up. If it was because he was cheating, or something bad that meant you got into an argument with him and broke up like that, I completely agree with you. If it was a mutual brake up, well it may be good to talk things over, but I still don think that contacting him and opening and reminding you of your relationship with him would help.
    I know your going to love him, but I think its just pathetic how some people get so upset about it. Obviously its human to feel upset, but its just stupid to sob and moan about it all day and not get on with your life.
    However sometimes an outside perspective, like me, can be more helpful and maybe your mum is correct, but your definitely right. What would you even do, there is literally no point in meeting with him or doing stuff with him. It just doesn't achieve anything if you are completely over, which you are.
    Its not bad being upset, you just need to make sure that your not going to be upset the rest of your life, so you need on the horse, and continue life without remaining so upset about something so trivial compared to the bigger picture.
    It's also good to talk to people and get things off your chest so its not wrong, but you just need to make sure that whoever your telling understands completely what your feeling. Which obviously didn't seem to happen when you talked to your mum.
    Anyway, feel free to ask for more advice

    Hope this helps.

    • Thank you. And yea I broke up with him because I found out he was talking to another one of his exes. He cheated before and I forgave him but this time I knew I couldnt.. I do admit that I always complained about him to my mom so this tome when I said that I was done, she didn't believe me. Its been 3 weeks and no contact and finally when I go to tell her about his sis reaching out, my kom automatically goes off saying how im not done with him and how im making enemies because of him. It wasn't something I wanted to hear especially still being hurt by the breakup.

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What Girls Said 1

  • the thing is the fact that you love him yet not wanting him makes you hurt , and i can't tell if you are either insecure of not knowing what you want in your life or ! that you know what you want and knowing what you are doing , but to answer this just consider what you want what you love and what you want to do with your life and the fact that you refused to help i dont think it makes you bad person its just you stand on what you are willing or of wanting to do in your life (since humans have the free will to do what they want ) i can tell that your mother was supportive maybe because she thought she was unsure of what you are doing in the relationship and just wanted to help out ( i mean you did just talked about him infront of your mother by that time she probably thought you are not over him yet which made me unsure wither you are insecure in the relationship or independent thats what i meant and your mother probably ) i think venting out is a great think to let go off your feelings because holding things inside will probably make you heavy , there is nothing wrong being upset i mean you do love him yet you dont want him its like you are forcing him to be out of your life while your heart is still desired to love him , my advice about this be sure of what you are doing and to cheer up you are still young and wild hope this helps ^^ .

    • I dont think Im insecure because I do know what I want and deserve in life. I dont believe it's him. I do admit I am hurt by him though because I was in love. I feel like I gave my all just for him not to give me half of his. I am an angry person now because of the relationship. I think I wanted my mother to just listen to me without being negative and she didn't. She made me more upset for even thinking about him. she's been in a bunch of relationships, she knows how it feels to let go of something that meant a lot to her. So for her to try to down talk me and make me feel bad for saying anything about him hurts.

    • hearing you saying that makes more reasonable and i think you just answered your own question ^ ^ .

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