Why do people reach out to exes when they are dating someone else?

I posted a question on here about why my ex-boyfriend of 2 years would reach out wanting to be friends after only 4 months post-break up. We had a mutual, friendly, but
difficult break up and went completely under NC.

I met with him last night and I asked him (since this seemed strange to me) and he said "you're a very special person. I've never met anyone like you before".
It turns out he is dating someone else now though and I told him I didn't think it would be a good idea since it would be disrespectful to his new gal and unfair to me since he would probably end the friendship since he mentioned she was already troubled by it. We hugged twice for a while and he kissed my head.

It's just a confusing situation because I don't really understand why someone would reach out to an ex, only 4 months after a break-up, if they're dating someone? any personal experiences/opinions would be appreciated. Thanks!


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What Girls Said 1

  • Chances are it’s either because…
    1.) The ex needs an ego stroke and they can always depend on you to give them fuel for their ego.
    2.) The ex is trying to relieve their guilt for how they were in the relationship/how things ended/the way they conducted themselves during the break-up so contacting you and you treating them like everything is okay clears their conscious.
    3.) The ex is a player and genuinely enjoys juggling romantic attention.
    4.) The ex misses you on some level in some way even if it’s not romantically. This doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together, there are just parts of you that they miss being present. This one is actually quite selfish because it can be very misleading.

    Typically, it’s best to just never speak to your exes again especially if you were the one that was dumped because there’s generally no good natured motive for a dumper to be contacting you. Whatever the reason is, he’s shady as hell dating someone else yet getting all affectionate with his ex. You should stay away from him


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