There was a girl that I liked. And I knew she liked me too. She was always there for me. Always heard me out. She was great. But this made me fall for her even more. The thing was that I didn't want to fall for her, But I couldnt stop myself and I started obsessing over her which only made living hell. So I subtly tried to do bad thing to end out friendship. Things didn't work. So in a moment of utter psychoness I spread rumours that she sent me dirty pictures in order to drive her away. When I finally gained some semblance, I realized what I'd done and it was too late. What followed has got to be the worst thing I've ever felt in my life. I hurt, broke a sweet, caring and probably one of the nicest girls I've ever met.. All selfishly so that I could be all right. In that process I lost all the people I valued most. Worst part was that I couldnt even admit to what I did when I was confronted. Now, Like a coward, I've locked myself in home. Been 2 months now. I'm miserable. And I just can't forgive myself for what I did. I feel sick everyday. And although I spend the day watching movies, doing stuff to get my mind off things, It all comes back to me at night. What do I do? What do I do to mend what I did? What do I do so that I can begin to forgive myself? What do I do to earn her forgiveness? And how do I come out of this? How do I feel better? Because Im tearing up inside. Like literally.