At what point does it become clear that enough is enough, and you have to end things with your s/o?

Every semester, there's a bit of tension between my boyfriend & I in terms of how much time we spend together.

Today, for example, he came to work out with me. Which is fun & all, but he's so distracted he'll just walk away or make comments on a game running on the sports network.

I ask him if he wants to grab a quick coffee after, which he turns down as he 'really has to study'. Before getting out of the car, I asked him if the next time I'll see him is Saturday, which is when we play badminton with some friends, and he nodded yes. I text him an hour later, saying I don't see why he bothered giving me his school schedule (everyday from 10-4) if he's studying all the time after class anyway. He replied saying he's 'sorry he has school and other responsibilities that he HAS to do, and that he can't spend 24/7 with me'.

I just said it's just an of compatibility & I'll see him next week. He replied with '...' and I left it at that.

I'm so lost as to what to do. I take school seriously too, but not to the same degree as him. Would it be too dramatic to just tell him I'd like to talk and say how I feel?

When do you know that enough is enough, and you just can't take it anymore?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is my mindset. There has to be give and take in any relationship. To me school not women is the most important aspect of my life and evidently his. However, any person can make time for what they love. I love sports and I am also busy with school. Everyday I play basketball in the morning for an hour. If he is truly focused on school I think it would be positive for you to be understanding of his time. That being said if he has opportunities and he chooses other activities, you have to make the decision if you are willing to be with a guy who is that way. Most likely if he can't make time for you now, it will only get worse if you get married. I would weigh the pros and cons and decide if you are willing to be with this type of guy. I hope it works out for the best. Also don't let sex cloud your judgment. It appears that might be influencing you significantly.

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    • haha yeah, good call on the sex clouding my judgement.

      He called and we talked things over. He said he could put aside about 2-3 hours for me every day, and asked if that would be enough to make me happy. I know he does have a lot of school work which I support, and I of course have my own. I told him that's enough, & hopefully he'll stick to it!
      Good point on the problem potentially worsening in the long-run. I'll be sure to bring that up with him next time I have a chance to discuss it with him in person.

      Thanks for the good advice. :)

    • Glad I was able to provide some reason. That is positive you communicated and are going to work on the dilemma. Whoa, 2-3 hours a day is almost spoiling you. I would not take that literally, but who knows be optimistic. If I were you I think it is now crucial to observe whether or not his actions align with his words and if he at least makes an effort. Best of luck

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What Guys Said 1

  • www.askmen.com/.../...s-it-s-time-to-break-up.html
    ...
    ... Read that, it should be enough. But if you need more let me know.

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    • ok yeah none of those apply to us. From an outside perspective, everything's peachy keen. But I feel like I'm at my wits end putting up with his inability to schedule his time, regardless of how busy he is. He promises he'll make more time for me this semester, but if he can't or simply doesn't want to bad enough, not sure if I should just walk away.

    • You always find time if you want. I don't accept that. I'm a full time student and I operate my own business at the same time and I can manage my friends and my relationship. If you really want to then you can... I believe two of those apply to you... Either way it's up to you, if you think there is no hope then move on.

What Girls Said 1

  • I remember your earlier questions. He was a serious student, right?
    Well everyone is different. He takes serious more than you. Still having a girlfriend is a different thing. I have a motto in life. If you really want to do something, you always create some time for it. I don't mean he doesn't want to but I think he is not aware this hurts you. Have you ever talked about this issue openly? Directly. Guys understand better when something is said directly.
    Talk to him first. See where it goes. If there is some improvements, that is great. If not, no push no force yourself in the relationship, do what will make you happy.

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