Broke up with my boyfriend and feel sick to my stomach now... please I need help?

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. We have conflicting values, pasts and he is at times too immature for me. But on the flip side he was faithful, always there for me and loved me like no other guy. I don't know if I made the right decision and it's literally breaking me. I've been through lots of heartbreaks but none of them has ever felt this physically painful. My heart is literally sore.

Earlier today I sent him a message over something he left over at my place and we sorted it out but then he said "can't we just talk about this?" and stubborn me told him no that I made up my mind and that I can't see us being together till he grows up more and is mentally mature. Then he sent me another sweet message saying how he wishes the best for me and that for the last time he sends his love.

I am so emotionally torn. I don't know if he's the right guy for me deep down (as I say, we have different values on things) and he made me sad/upset a few times because of his immaturity but I don't know if it was the right reason to leave someone as good as him behind.

Do I wait now or what? I don't know.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry for your break up, i almost teared up but with time
    it heals all wounds, i think you need take some time away
    from the dating scene, give him time to find his inner soul
    Sometimes break ups are the best for us least i had a
    therapist told me that about my first break up with my
    first ex girlfriend.. I wish you the best to find someone
    whose mature, won't make you sad but will help you
    feel good inside.. Hey my ex girlfriend all she did was
    come back tell me stuff her parents (mom & step-dad)
    said about me and i her step-dad was nice to me but
    her mother was bitch to me ( No Offense using that word)
    but i took it hard with load of anxiety, sadness but i got
    over things.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • "he was faithful, always there for me and loved me like no other guy"--that sounds quite mature for 18-24. Perhaps you are asking too much?

    • When I say he's immature I'll give you examples... he'll lie to me about some of his accomplishments, play mind games with me in order to get a reaction out of me (when he knows it's something that will upset me) and he also seemed immature in his outlook on life in terms of what he expected of not only me but from others too.

  • well its best to stick by your decision for now and party a little
    see how you feel after a weekend of fun

  • Time heals if you didn't make the wrong decision. Especially if you eventually find a superior alternative.

    • I've always bettered previous boyfriends. This will be the case for you to if you are open to it.

  • Do you want to be with him? Don't even think about it. Just the first answer to pop into your head.


What Girls Said 3

  • Honestly girl…? You’re kind of an asshole. I don’t mean to make you feel bad but you really need to let that last sentence digest so that you can stop being an ass to him because he sounds like a really great guy and with the way you’re going, you’re pushing him right into the arms of someone else.

    The way you’re behaving towards him is tacky and unnecessarily b*tchy. He didn’t cheat on you, he didn’t screw you over or stab you in the back, he didn’t do anything so major for you to be puncturing his heart then rubbing salt in his wound with your nasty response to his simple text. You can’t just break up with someone, basically giving up on them and dismissing them from a significant emotional place on your timeline, then treat them like this and act like what you did was nothing. Being dumped as if you’re trash, as if you’re disposable, is a very painful thing and in some situations such as yours, where the person being dumped didn’t actually DO anything detrimental to your emotional/mental/physical health: you just come off as one selfish, impulsive, reckless jerk. If you really want him then you need to stop being so prideful, accept that you’re being a bit of a b*tch, and accept the relationship for what it is and accept the fact that the relationship has areas of growth. If you don’t, I can guarantee another female will snatch him up. He sounds like a prize. And do you really think he’s gonna want anything to do with you when she does everything you failed to do? Get it together. Stop being prideful and go get him or lose him and have guilt eat away at your conscious for doing something so unjust.

    • I wasn't a bitch to him. I was civilized and told him I'll always be his friend if needs me. I don't know where you get the impression from that I was cold to him but I certainly wasn't.

    • Show All
    • If he was innocent as you seem to think he is, I can assure you he wouldn't have made me want to break up with him cause I'm one of the most loyal people ever. You're judging me but you have no grounds to judge me on other than the fact that I did the dumping. He has caused me many tears before and has emotionally harmed me at times. Hence why he told me he understands that I've given him too many chances (you kinda missed that part right?) and why he kept apologizing over things he has apologized before too in the past but couldn't seem to change as he just went and did it again.

    • Alright well if that’s the case, then leave him be and move on with your life.

  • You don't specify what that immature behavior is about... It really depends on if you can overlook the behavior or if he is able to stop or modify the behavior. It really depends totally on you... Although he may be the best guy in the world, he is not the best guy for you...

  • Girl this guy sounds like a catch, you sound like your not quite sure what you really want and your confused about something but honestly being 24 i'm confused by a lot too still but that's not your boyfriends fault or anyone else's. it takes times to figure things out but is it worth it falling out with your boyfriend over it?, i really don't think it is, he seems to love you a lot and you love him and OF COURSE men are less mature than us girls LOL that's guys for you, and what conflicting values are you talking about?

    • We have conflicting views on belief systems. We kind of got better on it and stuff but he'll still have his moments where it felt to me like he's guilt tripping me to thinking my beliefs is wrong and that he is right for sure. I never felt the need to make statements about our beliefs but for some reason he did which tells me he still can't 100% accept that I don't conform to his belief system.

      You're right. I'm very confused about what I want and what is right for me and for him. I don't know if it was worth it either.

    • Yeh that would annoy me too and just confuse me even further... i went out with a muslim guy a couple times but i can now see why other girls are iffy about dating muslim guys because he started saying stuff like "You should dress in a muslim dress around the house", and i flat out told him no... but he says that because his family wouldn't like it if i dressed in my own clothes, they wouldn't accept my beleif system. I think when it comes to beliefs and stuff i do not discuss what anyone else believes in, i had a friend who is christian once but it was like "I'm cool with what you believe and your cool with what i do so... lets not talk about it" lol and end of, i think you should talk about it with him and just say to him whatever you believe your fine with it but you would like him to be find with what you believe too, and that you don't really want to mention it again, he should just accept it and move on like you have.

    • As for conflicting pasts, nobodies past should matter, his shouldn't matter to you and yours shouldn't matter to him, this happens often where people get worried about the person they are today from what they did in their past but that's done and gone so you should say ou don't want to talk about your pasts ether but accept each other for who you are now.

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