What do you think is going on?

Ok, so I started dating this woman and we REALLY hit it off. So much that we decided to move into a relationship almost immediately (little too early maybe?). We spent this past Christmas weekend (the 26th-30th) together and it was amazing. I don't think I've ever enjoyed myself quite like that (Note: we kept the sexual stuff to a minimum because I prefer to wait a significant period of time before becoming sexually involved with someone as that adds a whole other dimension to a relationship). After that, she started to be very distant and seemed like she was trying to push me away This worried and confused me to no end as she thoroughly enjoyed herself during our time together. Finally after about a week, I managed to sit down and talk to her about her change in attitude. She said it was because she wanted to end our new relationship before we got too emotionally invested in each other. When I asked why she wanted to end it, let alone so soon she said it was because all her past relationships had started much the same way and ended very badly (I know that at least 1 of her ex's was abusive and the other 2 might have been). She said she wanted to take her time and get to know me better as a friend before she "let [herself] fall for [me]". She emphasized that she was indeed interested in me as something more than a friend and that this decision was not an easy one for her to make. I asked her if that was true why had she been more than happy to have a relationship over Christmas. She said (and I quote) "When I'm with you, I forget everything". It was only after we parted ways on the 30th that she said she could think clearly and she remembered that she'd gone down this road before. She then spent the following week grappling with if/when/how to tell me what she felt because she knew "This is going to hurt him". I believe her and am somewhat ok with just being friends, but I want to hear other opinions and perspectives.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dont let people discourage you just cause it doesn't add up to THEM. People that have been hurt react to it in very different and seemingly strange ways. You were the only one that was there and you know how it felt. React to that and build on that.

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    • Thank you. That is the wisest advice I've gotten in a long while. :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't understand why she would end the relationship if everything was going well regardless of pass experiences that smells fishy. Plus, the whole point of dating someone is to get to know them sooo... smells fishy.
    Typically when a girl says she wants to get to know you better while breaking up with you she does indeed want to get to know you better as a friend, and you will probably end up staying just friends after that regardless. I know if it was me who said all of this to you it would mean you're now in the friend zone and will probably never crawl your way back out of it.

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    • She said it was because:
      A) She promised herself after her last relationship that she wouldn't let herself get hurt like that again (3 bad relationships in a row would be enough to make anyone paranoid right? Especially when those are the only relationships you've had.
      B) Because of A) she wants to be sure about me and see as much of my character as possible before she allows herself to become more emotionally invested in me (i. e. in a relationship).
      C) After being hurt so badly by every guy she trusted and let her guard down with, she doesn't trust anyone except herself.

What Guys Said 4

  • "she wanted to take her time and get to know me better as a friend" This is girl speak for its never gonna happen, but I love the attention you give me so im gonna lead you on as long as I can. Shouldve slept with her. Woman want a strong dick game.

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    • If she is that kind of woman, then she is not a woman I want to be with.

  • 90% she's still talking to her ex's

    You might be a rebound

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    • doubt it, and hope to God she isn't. Like I said I know at least one of her ex's was abusive and the other 2 might have been as well, so if she's still talking to them... that's a horrifying thought that she rejected a normal, healthy relationship in favor of a chance to have a hurtful, unhealthy one.

    • oh and I don't think I was a rebound because she's been single for about a year since her last ex... I don't think people wait that long for a rebound

    • Yes never mind then.

  • Dude just go and pick out a ring. I can just tell you are meant to be together! SOMETIMES life just works out this way! Dont waste your chance!!!

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    • go back to Tumblr you troll

  • Nothing clear and its diffecult to judge wait 1more week if she still push u away move on

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    • She's not pushing me away, we're just friends now. She was pushing me away before because she wasn't sure how to break the news to me.

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