Hurtful comment from ex. How should I take this?

My ex and I broke up a month ago. We were together a long time ago as teenagers and then reconnected and lived together for the last 6 years. He helped me raise my daughter. We were engaged. His family was mine and mine his. I saw him today because we are sharing custody of the dogs. He said that he was concerned about me and that maybe I was having trouble moving on. (he has no idea). I said well this doesn't seem to be affecting you that much at all. He said "Thats just the way I am. I haven't really been into anybody in a long time". I said "you weren't into me?" He said "not like you deserved" I asked him how long since he had been into someone. He mentioned his two previous girlfriends before me, both relatively short term relationships. I told him that this made me feel really badly and that I felt like I had just spent the last 6 years very much in love but living a lie. Then he said that what he said was that he was into me at one time. He never said that.
What he said increased my level of hurt astronomically. My self esteem is just shattered and I feel very used and very confused about what reality is anymore. If he could con me like that for 6 years then how can I trust anyone. He used to tell me that he loved me so much he wanted us to be together even in heaven. He would volunteer for my favorite causes with me "just to make me happy and love him more", so he said. He always told me how beautiful I was. None of this makes any sense. We broke up because he is a relapsed alcoholic that has refused to go back to treatment. He has been sober for the last several weeks but now I'm not so sure. This is the only sense I can make out of it. I am just crushed.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The alcohol could be the reason he can't keep a clear head or his stories together. The break up could be crushing him and the alcohol is what is numbing him. He can't deal with the disappointment he caused you and trying to dull it and drown it out. He doesn't realize that it causes you more pain. You have to simply pray about it and for him. I think he cares deeply but will never let you know it. A man doesn't give up six years of his life and raise someone else's daughter if he didn't truly love and care for her. He may have caused the breakup because he knew that him destroying himself with alcohol would destroy you and your daughter and he couldn't live with that. Maybe it was his way of choosing what he thought would be lesser pain for you. Hard one.


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  • i think you're overreacting and that you loose whats seems a nice guy


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