How do you actually break up when a child is involved? Let alone, move on?

My boyfriend and I have been dating since we were only 15&16.. We've shared 13 years together and have an amazing 8 yr old boy. He's never proposed and I am basically like his roommate/servant now that I'm unable to work while I'm going through medical treatments. But for ten years, I supported our family soley. We had to leave Ohio to come to Cali for my Dr. I know he hates it here, but I love it and my son seems to as well. I am just tired of how he says he's going to leave In front of our son all the time. It really gets him worked up hearing his dad say he wants to leave.. I fear he would be out of our lives forever if he leaves and sometimes I think that'd be better than how it is now, but then I fear I would be alone forever.. He's all I've ever known and I just can't ever see me with someone else.. I need advice please...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Parent's problems should NEVER be discussed when children are present.
    I have no words strong enough (and which can be used without risking a ban) to describe a man who abandons his wife and child when she's ill. Let's say -'the ultimate D-bagĀ²-' .
    You'll have problems, indeed. All MRA's here will tell you wives can rob their men of everything but that's 1950ies talk, no longer valid in 2015.
    PS,
    Cali in Columbia or California? California is a quite expensive place.

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    • California, only until 2016.. If all goes well we can go back where we were but I'm from Canada.. That's why I feel so badly bout it all, I know it's expensive and I'm useless to help. I agree with you that my child should never have to hear of our struggles.. I'm just trying to prepare so I can handle everything when he goes...

    • I suppose medical costs will be lower in Canada than in the US, even with Obamacare.

      How to prepare the kid? I never had a divorce, friends had and we helped their children through it.
      I hope there are grandparents and/or friends able to help your boy.
      Anyhow, in school, half of the children he knows lived a divorce or have one going on. There's no longer the same stigma as 50-80 years ago.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i think its time you left
    he is not only making your life hell but your son will have a scar for life if he continues to live with that man

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    • Thanks.. I'm building up to it.

  • in my opinion ur a very beautiful lady and I don't think u'll ever have any problems of finding another man. If he hasn't proposed to you after 13 years, he prob never will, and tbh this doesn't sound like love, it sounds to me like he is being selfish and is only worried about his own needs instead of his son's and your needs. In my humble opinion I think you should leave, you will be much happier and he won't be leaving any more scars on you or your son. Not only will you be much happier, you might even find a REAL man who can take care of you the way you ought to be loved. Just my humble opinion!

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What Girls Said 1

  • I was with my ex-husband from 18 to 34. I thought I would be lost without him and be alone forever. Boy was I wrong! I was able to move on once I started dating and saw how men are suppose to treat a lady. I fell in love again deeper than I ever was with my ex. We parent my son together and that's it. If you want to do it and you know it's best for you then do it. If you are happy your son will be happy.

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