I'm very confused as to what to do in my relationship. Should I stick it out or?

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 2 years now. It was super fun for the first like 6 months. Then ever since then we've on and off fought over stupid stuff to really serious problems. Some have gotten solved, but some stay the same. The big problems come from both of us. There have definitely been really fun times, too. We both also feel really comfortable with each other. It's been 2 years so we know a lot about each other and we share the same political and religious views, and we have a lot of the same interests. And we have the same ideas about like kids and raising them and stuff (we're too young to actually be doing that though). My problem is I have been on and off thinking about if I want to stay with him or not. I mean sure we're comfortable and there are happy times, but I'm bored and he seems bored, but I know he has no desire to end things at all. The times we got close he was just devastated. I was sad, too.. but.. I don't know. I'm really unsure. He also has big depression and social anxiety problems that he doesn't deal with (hasn't ever sought out help). And I have tried helping, but there isn't much I can do. So it's tiring being with him sometimes... And I just wonder if I might have fun with someone else. But then again me and him like.. work together so well in how similar we are. And I love him and he /really/ loves me. What would you do in my situation?

this is his very first relationship, while I've had 2 before him.
  • Break up
    Vote A
  • Stay together
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • What have you done to help him with his depression and anxiety? What makes you think you didn't help or you can't do more?

    Also, how does this effect your relationship? Does he want to feel better? Is he taking any steps in feeling better?

    I think it may help you if you can up the level of communication with him so you can talk about what you miss, or which fun times you want more of. Likewise it may help him understand how his difficulties effect you.

    • If I tell him that his depression affects me it will make him feel worse... he won't tell me that though. He already hates bothering me with that stuff. But I always tell him it's fine to talk to me about that stuff and whatever. I have depression, too, but I got help a while back and now I'm good at managing it. But it's too expensive for him to get help (his parents suck). You think I should stay with him in hopes of me helping him? Even if I'm unhappy?

    • Not necessarily, but I think you should at least feel like you gave it all you got before you decide to end things.

      I'm not sure being more open and sharing how your feel will make his depression worse. Yes it may make him feel sad, but he deserves the chance to try and change and understand what it is that gets you down and makes you unhappy. Just because he suffers doesn't mean you have to be a rock and show no weakness yourself. Being with someone with those problems is often equally as difficult as having them yourself.

      Put your feelings into words. Ask yourself what specific things are making you unhappy. What is it that makes it difficult being with him? Why do you feel like you can't help any more? Do you think he wants to change? Then once you know the answer talk to him, find out what he wants or what upsets him about your relationship too.

      You won't find any relationship without problems worth talking about.

    • Communication is key and you'll find that in any relationship.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you're staying for his sake and not because you really want to be with him. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question to begin with. But it doesn't sound like you're doing him a favour by staying since you're both fighting and not sorting your problems through/work to make your relationship better. Either way it can't stay the way it is now. Break up or work your problems out. Only you can know what to do

    • i was just seeing what other people would do in my situation..

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What Guys Said 2

  • Your situation sounds just like what our relationship is going through. She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore. I need some time, please respect that."

    I would do everything in my power to work through problems with someone who shares that rare connection. Very few loves are like yours: cherish it, nurture it, and find peace in it. Don't throw it away.

    • it just.. im so young... i dont want to end up with my first serious boyfriend forever

    • Show All
    • If Im not happy, we're obviously not very compatible.

    • That's not true. Happiness comes from within, not from without.
      You two may be very compatible.
      When a relationship becomes stale, do something to spice it up. Don't just hope it will get better without putting any effort into it.
      If you aren't sure that can happen right now, maybe you should take some space from the relationship: that can cause the both of you to appreciate each other and the love you share so much more. If you do take space, be sure to state for how long it will be and whether you intend to remain committed to each other or not.

  • It's really hard to say what you should do. I recommend you to think a lot. Consider everything. Do it coldly. Consider all the pros and cons of this relationship as it is right now, how much you have improved or not since the problems started to happen and all the perspectives of improvements according to your relationship's history. Then you'll sure get to a well-thought conclusion about it and thinks may be more clear so that you can make a decision.


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