Anyway brief history, my gf just came out of a bad violent relationship when we got together, we were friends for a couple weeks, and then she breaks up with her boyfriend and within a week were sleeping together, we always liked eachother from ages ago but we didn't speak as i had a girlfriend at the time. Anyway for the couple weeks we were friends she put in loads of effort i mean it wasn't even me chasing her she did all the chasing inviting me places, messaging me all the time. Even after we got together officially she told me she loved me first after like 2 weeks so she made all the big moves in everything that happened between us perhaps she is on the rebound tho who knows.
Anyway so first month amazing perfect so happy, 2nd month rocky, she tried to break it off we me after the 1st month she got really jealous of a girl who i was speaking to, told me she has a lot of hurt and issues from her past ex that she needs to sort out and its unfair that she's putting it on me, the girl was no one just a random person. Anyway i told her i love her blah blah we got over that hump. Since then she's been hot and cold, moody a lot of the time cold and distant with me. Even recently she told me she thinks about being by herself daily but as she loves me she wants to take our relationship day by day.
Even now she's distant though, doesn't call as much, doesn't even say i love you as much, we have exams so maybe it's stress but all signs are this ain't going to last am i overreacting. Should i just stay with her and hope it works out but emotionally check out so i don't get hurt
Most Helpful Girl
I honestly do not call it a relationshio after only 2 or 3 months, this is only the early dating stage where you really still don't have to have complete commitment to them, you don't have full oblgations so id slow yourself way... down, i don't think you can even say you love each other... i see this way too much these days of people saying they love each other only after 3 months, but it comes in stages, first flirting and infactuation, you never really know you love each other until at least after a year to a year and a half.
So i think you need to slow it way down and stop saying you love her, you may be scaring her away by saying this too quikcly, saying you love someone is a big thing to say to somebody but it honestly feels like she doesn't even know how she entirely feels about you right now, so your way ahead of her right now, you both need to be on the same page but right now you jsut aren't, as she said she just got out of a violent relationship so bear with her, make her feel at ease and not like your pressuring her to love you.
Most Helpful Guy
I think that you should suggest taking a break so she can figure it all out. Reassure her of your feelings for her and that you feel for a possible future with you two together that you two need to be apart until she has cleared her head and gotten straightened out. Make sure you make it clear that this isn't personal or a compatibility issue in your mind. Once you do that you have to and i mean HAVE TO wait for her to come back to you, focus on improving yourself as well so that if there is a next time around, itll be perfect. So end it on good terms with there always being the possibility of rekindling sometime down the road. Bet if you do this that she comes back quite quickly and will respect you a lot for this. Make sure it doesn't turn into an argument , dont question her about her feelings towards you or anything like that. Dont try and make any rules for the break. Hope it all works out for you and would love to hear updates.