I feel like my girlfriend is going to dump me anytime from now, should I emotionally check out, I don't want to leave her as I hope it will work out?

Ok so me and my gf have been seeing eachother for 3 months now official for 2 months, i know it's not a long time but hear me out. Anyway so i just have this feeling like our relationship is coming to an end, you know like a vibe you get, i thought maybe i'm just overreacting but feelings are feelings i don't feel this vibe for no reason something must be up because things have changed.

Anyway brief history, my gf just came out of a bad violent relationship when we got together, we were friends for a couple weeks, and then she breaks up with her boyfriend and within a week were sleeping together, we always liked eachother from ages ago but we didn't speak as i had a girlfriend at the time. Anyway for the couple weeks we were friends she put in loads of effort i mean it wasn't even me chasing her she did all the chasing inviting me places, messaging me all the time. Even after we got together officially she told me she loved me first after like 2 weeks so she made all the big moves in everything that happened between us perhaps she is on the rebound tho who knows.

Anyway so first month amazing perfect so happy, 2nd month rocky, she tried to break it off we me after the 1st month she got really jealous of a girl who i was speaking to, told me she has a lot of hurt and issues from her past ex that she needs to sort out and its unfair that she's putting it on me, the girl was no one just a random person. Anyway i told her i love her blah blah we got over that hump. Since then she's been hot and cold, moody a lot of the time cold and distant with me. Even recently she told me she thinks about being by herself daily but as she loves me she wants to take our relationship day by day.

Even now she's distant though, doesn't call as much, doesn't even say i love you as much, we have exams so maybe it's stress but all signs are this ain't going to last am i overreacting. Should i just stay with her and hope it works out but emotionally check out so i don't get hurt

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly do not call it a relationshio after only 2 or 3 months, this is only the early dating stage where you really still don't have to have complete commitment to them, you don't have full oblgations so id slow yourself way... down, i don't think you can even say you love each other... i see this way too much these days of people saying they love each other only after 3 months, but it comes in stages, first flirting and infactuation, you never really know you love each other until at least after a year to a year and a half.

    So i think you need to slow it way down and stop saying you love her, you may be scaring her away by saying this too quikcly, saying you love someone is a big thing to say to somebody but it honestly feels like she doesn't even know how she entirely feels about you right now, so your way ahead of her right now, you both need to be on the same page but right now you jsut aren't, as she said she just got out of a violent relationship so bear with her, make her feel at ease and not like your pressuring her to love you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that you should suggest taking a break so she can figure it all out. Reassure her of your feelings for her and that you feel for a possible future with you two together that you two need to be apart until she has cleared her head and gotten straightened out. Make sure you make it clear that this isn't personal or a compatibility issue in your mind. Once you do that you have to and i mean HAVE TO wait for her to come back to you, focus on improving yourself as well so that if there is a next time around, itll be perfect. So end it on good terms with there always being the possibility of rekindling sometime down the road. Bet if you do this that she comes back quite quickly and will respect you a lot for this. Make sure it doesn't turn into an argument , dont question her about her feelings towards you or anything like that. Dont try and make any rules for the break. Hope it all works out for you and would love to hear updates.

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    • Thanks a lot for the advice I think what I will do is when I see her because I haven't seen her for a couple weeks as we are on break from university I will just act normally, if things are awkward or she's distant i will jus sit her down and have a chat with her ask her if she's ready for this relationship n tell her I understand how she's feeling I mean it sucks but she did just come out of a relationship u can't just bury those feelings you have to overcome them first. I'll tell her if she's not ready let's take a break until she's over her issues thing is I don't like the word break tho, what am I going I be waiting in limbo for months waiting on her decision I'd prefer to just tell her either we stay together and fight for this or we break up and give up, in the future we may get back together who knows but if she it ends I could meet a new girl and everything we had would be history because I don't wait for people who don't want me Uno. What do you think?

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What Girls Said 2

  • You were a rebound and she needs time alone to deal with the trauma she has been through.

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    • That sucks so bad, are you 100% sure, thing is she liked me like even before she got with her ex and she put in a lot of effort, i don't really think all the feelings she has are fake and just rebound feelings i think she does have genuine feelings but maybe it's the wrong timing.

      What can i do in this situation though?

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    • Yeah i think i will def have that chat with her if things continue the same, i haven't seen her in a couple weeks as we live in different cities while we are on break from university, i will see her sometime this week though, hopefully things will be better when i see her but if not i'll just have to be honest.

      Tbh i'm scared of having that convo with her because i'm scared of her answer, i mean if i bring that up and she says she ain't ready what are we broken up on the spot just like that, tbh i'd prefer if she brought it up, i'm just trying to enjoy the time i got left before it goes sour but you know what i probably will just have to ask her that if things don't get better because it ain't exactly enjoyable for me if she continues being hot and cold

    • Have the conversation.

  • she's having a very difficult time expressing herself, she might be fearing she opened up to fast, especially after a violent relationship, we tend to bottle all of those feelings in after such traumatizing experience, she can be scared you might leave her, when she needs you the most, is she apart of a support group? that might help it helped me. even know though I sometimes just shut down and don't talk to anyone when things become stressful. another thing is that she might have certain triggers that might send her to flashbacks, I also had those and ended up needing to be prescribed anxiety medicine due to the violent relationship, almost 3 year later I still have trouble expressing myself and dealing with stressful or emotional situations.

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