Confused, one day she says she wants to marry me and the next day that I am forcing the relationship. How should I respond/how long with No Contact?

A year ago I started dating a girl (long distance in Colombia) that was really into me, but we broke-up after 3 months because she was controlling, but we remained friends. I was then involved in a relationship with someone else in Colombia and I had an extra day that my girlfriend couldn't spend with me, so my friend and I explored the city together and had a great time; I actually felt more of a connection with her than my girlfriend. I decided to break-up with my girlfriend to be fair to her. A month later I told my friend how I felt, but she said she didn't feel the same way, but we remained friends. I decided to visit Colombia again over Christmas, my friend and I spent a week together and 'hooked up'; after that we decided to try a relationship, but she that she wanted to take things slow. I agreed, but told her that there is an imbalance in feelings that we have (me having more) and we both need to understand where each other is for things to work. A few more weeks passed, I sent flowers to her work which she loved, and did typical boyfriend things. One evening she sends me a message telling me that she can see marrying me and being my wife someday. I responded that I guess time will tell us all. The next day I was looking at her Facebook page and noticed that there was no mention that she was in a relationship, posted a picture of the flowers with no mention who they were from, things like that. I asked her about it and she said that I need to take things slow and I am forcing things. I told her that she is confusing me with wanting to take things slow but telling me she wants to be my wife. I then asked if she needs time to think about what she wants. She responded that we are two different people and ended the relationship. I told her we can't be friends since the line was crossed and said goodbye. A couple of days later she sends a message saying she is sorry, but doesn't like to be forced and she loves me. How should I respond?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are correct, you had strong feelings and she did not. She liked you and the attention she got from you but you are not what she wanted. (hence the fact she said she felt you were forcing/pushing her) To her you were a good guy. A guy she could (should) marry, but most likely it will be someone she is crazy about that treats her like trash.
    The fact is we always want what we can't have its a challenge. It draws us in. You were not a challenge to her and so you didn't peek her interest that much. She likes you she does, but just not like you liked her and you wanted from her what she could never give you. She didn't want to hurt you but fully understands where you are coming from. No further contact is needed. she may contact you just to say hello, but only because she misses the friendship and the kind things you did. Not because she misses a relationship with you. Move on and find that one girl who will love you like you deserve.


Most Helpful Guy

  • sounds like a mess. if you want her then keep trying but if you don't really care much then just drop it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't respond. You're done with her.


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