I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, we are in our early 20's with a farm and we have lots together. we fight constantly and all together he doesn't treat me very we'll and always has an excuse for why he does! (I'm stressed because were tight on money etc) and pretty much all my family and friends want me to break up with him, I've tried to but I always end up never going through with it. Do you think it's unfair for my family and friends to make me feel bad for staying? I love him and he always convinces me to stay. This last time my heart was breaking in front of him and I really was set on leaving him, we cried together and it killed me to hurt him! He said he will change this time he just once one last chance to prove it, I'm still confused and not sure, he's been good recently but I don't know what I should do, I'm at crossroads. Am I being naive? Should I leave? Or should I follow my heart even if no one supports me? Help! ):
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How a person handles stress is a major indicator of maturity. Also, how a person treats their significant other under stress is a very important indicator of the long-term viability of the relationship and money is a stressor on relationships involving people of any age... However, there will always be stressful events throughout your life.
Unfortunately, you are in your early 20s so you are still growing up. Right now, he's a douche because of his stressors. He may grow out of it, but he might not. So, as best as you can, try to assess if his reactions to you and stress are a basic trait in him or something he'll grow out of.
As a rule of thunb, if he is not better after being with you for two years, I'd have a very serious discussion with him. Your job in life is to be each other's partner and support system so he shouldn't be treating you like that. As for his ability to control it, ask him "Would you treat you boss the same way or talk to him or her the same way? Of course not, you'd be fired. Well, I should be MORE important in your life than them so please treat me with the same level of respect. I'm here for you, but that's difficult to continue to want to do when you are treating me like shit." You might have to get tough and tell him to grow up if he continues.0