In need of real help! How should I go about getting my ex back?

Having a real down moment.
I've recently broken up with my girlfriend of 3 months. Wasn't s nasty breakup. She just suggested it was a good idea and I agreed for her sake. She said she still wants me in her life and to remain friends and if we were to sort things out in the future she would like that. I agreed to being friends and said she can come to me whenever. I believe she also initiated the breakup to try benefit me so I can focus on my own problems without a partner too. This hurt because It makes me feel like I wasn't there for her as I should of been which I realise now. My anxiety is what stopped me I guess. It was ended due to unfortunate events and my depression and anxiety that got a hold of the relationship. It's been real hard because even though being one of my shortest relationships it was easily the most genuine and comfortable id been in. She supported me a lot through my problems and I believe I lost her due to not accepting much help from her and not helping myself. I want her back because I still love her, she is truly a beautiful person and had been the best partner I've had. I've heard of the no contact rule and thought I would apply it considering she initiated the breakup. Now I've already agreed to being friends will this be affected by the no contact rule? and she has contacted me since the breakup for small talk just curious how I should go in replying to future texts while in the no contact phase? Will this push her away because I agreed to being friends? And any advice for my situation as I'm having a lot of paranoid thoughts. Being such a lovely caring person she is she could easily get snatched up by someone who fits the criteria that's also my concern. Thanks in advance!


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What Girls Said 1

  • The purpose of the no contact rule is to get over someone, a lot of people seem to think it's for getting someone back, but it's not what it's for. If you read online, the no contact rule never real works to gain someone back, and in the cases where it works it's most likely because the person would have come back anyway.

    You say the break-up wasn't nasty and you're still on friendly terms. The no contact rule would mean NO contact whatsoever, I can't imagine how that would be good in your situation. If you just ignored her, she'd most likely think you're mad at her or don't want to stay in touch at all.

    It seems like she hasn't given you any reasons for the break-up so right now you're assuming. Perhaps it would be a good idea to ask her for the reasons, it would be helpful.

    If I were you, I'd stay in touch with her. Not too frequently but if she contacts you, do not ignore her. But also don't flood her phone or whatever.

    • Yeah I figured that. I know I need to time to heal and get my self together so I've just been giving her space. It's a lot harder then I thought it would be only being a few days feels like forever. I had a break down today and had to cry. As for the break up we talked a lot about our problems as we were nearing the break up. She was saying how it may be a good Idea we broke so I had time to focus on my self a week before we actually broke up. She also said and made it clear that she wasn't happy. Which I could understand. I made a lot mistakes due to social anxiety which left me to conciel myself to do things in the house when she wanted to always go out. This went on for almost a month before out break up. While we broke up she said that none of it was my fault because of my sickness with depression and anxiety etc. and said we just got together at a bad time. I know what I've done wrong and what I need to change It's just so hard not speaking to her on a daily basis anymore

    • Yeah I won't ignore her either when she contacts me but I'll try keep things brief. Even if she wishes for us to be together in the future we both need time to heal I think

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