Is this relationship over? Advice?

So I've been seeing this guy for almost 6months. About 2months in we became exclusive. We started talking less &less, going down to about like two times a week or maybe 3. I am now only seeing him about once every two weeks. Typically if I initiate plans...

Anyways, we had a convo the other night &I told him personal things from my childhood that were hard for me to talk about. (over the internet) he never responded but continued to log online and off... so I sent another message for apologizing in sharing so much, I was embarrassed and some what unsure that I should have told him. Still no response. Then I got upset &told him that I felt put off because he completely disregarded me opening up to him. That I would never disregard him because I care about him.

He has previously opened up to me about various things &I always listened and was there for him. The one time I open up, he just disappears... 36hrs later he messaged me back. Told me he wasn't asking to be held to expectations &never wanted to be a "boyfriend"... that I made him my bf. That hurt because for 5+ months I thought we had mutual feelings... I told him that if it was just a friends with benefits situation, I would have appreciated a heads up. He told me I am more than a friends with benefits .

All I asked was to be respected and not ignored at times where I open up in conversation (because we were having a convo, I didn't just say it randomly)... I feel like a person should have common courtesy to close a conversation or respond to a question when you know the answer v. ignoring for days or never answering.

As far as how he became my bf...
We agreed to be exclusive. He met a gf of mine and she kept referring to him as my bf. Later that night before bed I asked him if he was my bf and he answered yes. I guess he only said yes for his own reasons...

I sent him a message on how I am feeling at this point. Told him to message when he is ready. It has been a day.

your opinion?
  • Leave the relationship
    Vote A
  • You may work through this
    Vote B
  • Why would you want to be with him?
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know it hurts, but he's definitely looking elsewhere. Often relationships tend to decay slowly - it's rare that it comes about quickly.

    You've invested a lot and you are receiving pain on return. It's best that you cut away now - once every two weeks isn't enough to build what you seem to want from him.

    You have the power to make that decision now and not be vulnerable to this. You can already see how sensitive you are to his reactions - you should let no one have that kind of power over you if they don't respect you because you'll feel awful.

    I know it's not easy, but I suggest you break away. With time you'll feel much better this I promise.

    Hang in there!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Although you have been "Exclusive" for a Month of Mondays here, dear, it's Official to me, without it being etched in stone, he is Not a Boyfriend or anyone you can depend on nor count on And-----I am now only seeing him about once every two weeks... Typically if I initiate plans...
    With 'Initiate plans' you Need to start Making New plans for the new year and tell him you think it best you both broke it off. It's obvious to me with him 'Log on and off' that is he is 'Logging Off' in other ways that is giving you helpful hints that he doesn't really care about your feelings nor anything that concerns you in your life and is simply putting you on his pay no mind list. He has no 'Respect for you nor 'Common courtesy' and with him telling you "Yes" to being a 'Bf,' it is in Name only, other than that in Game Now which he is playing with your head and your heart.
    He doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore nor be hooked a the hip. You have now enabled him to 'Message when he is ready' and with this, he will take his sweet time and come around when he feels like it or get a few 'benefits' when he tells you it isn't Friends wise.
    Start off the new year right on the Right foot. You deserve better than to be some man's door mat. Put this to bed and move on with your life. There is someone out there who wants what you want and that is love and a partner, not a fly by nite loser who doesn't want to be two birds of a feather who sticks together.
    Good luck and blessings for 2015. xx


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