Confused on wether I'm the dumper the dumpee?

So I was mad and told her I think we should split up. DIDN'T MEAN IT AT ALL. But since I have been the one begging and writing letters to confess my true love. We have been together almost 3 years. I cheated and lied and was just scared of long-term because I knew she was the one. It just scared the shit out of me. But as I stated I was the one begging to get her back. She said she was to confused and hurt and angry. We did not break up due to the cheating we had worked through that. This was mainly an attention freak out. I wanted to see her and shit kept getting in the way. So I was angry and said some things I didn't MEAN. But now she just doesn't know what she wants. So I did no contact. This is day 2. Anyone thoughts on who should contact who first. Valentine's day is coming up. Should I just stand my ground? she knows how I feel and she knows I want this. So it was nothing more I could do then to give her complete space. Because I didn't wanna accept friendship which I had did initially. But I'm just in love with her. Don't think me being her friend would be smart.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Should you “stand your ground”? No, you should leave her the f*ck alone. You’re the dumper. You screwed her over. You stabbed her in the back. You betrayed her trust and then you verbally dismissed her because you were “scared” -_- Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean sh*t: for some crappy partners like you, it’s your one day to make up for being mediocre and/or painfully disappointing on other days.

    Once you cheat, there is no going back. You are cementing a permanent downfall of the bond. Cheating is betrayal and your partner will never be able to look at you with the same admiration and pride nor will they ever fully be able to trust that you won’t hurt them for your own disgusting gratification. So with that said, I think you need to leave her alone, let her move on with her life, and let her find someone who is going to take better care of her heart. You messed up and you do not deserve her. Leave her alone. Stop disrupting her healing process. Stop making her revisit painful memories because you selfishly can’t help but open your mouth and try to pry your presence into her life. LET HER GO. Leave her be so she can have a better man in her life.

    • Stabbed her in the back? And she has Stabbed me in mines. I have learned to forgive and accept. I don't want to start where we left off. I want to start over. For I Will be able to love her at my full potential now that overcame my fear

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    • You are SO self-absorbed. All you seem to think about is you you you. How you felt before you broke up with her, what you want know, what matters to you, what you want to see happen. GET OVER YOURSELF. Stop acting like her world should revolve around you as if you’re entitled to just toy with her heart, ditch her, dump her, then pop up whenever you damn well feel like it and finally get your damn act right. You effed up now leave her alone. I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear no matter what you say because I am convinced that you are trouble and this poor girl is better off with your absence. If you really care about her then let her go to a better man.

Most Helpful Guy

  • well if anything, at least drop off a gift on her doorstep but other than that i think you should give her some time to think.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It doesn't matter who was the dumper or the dumpee. It's extremely unimportant. The important thing is to stop bitching about it and move the fuck on.
    "I knew she was the one." It doesn't work that way.
    Plus, you cheated on her. Stop pressuring her to be with you. That's unfair as hell.

    • I am trying please believe me. I started the no contact two days ago. I hope it doesn't push her all the way away

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    • I'm would have moved on.. She wanted to make it work. I'm only about myself? Lol. We have done much great for each other together. But it take two in a relationship. Remember that. I knew what I did was extremely wrong. And she and I worked through this. Breaking up had nothing to do with cheating. Or so I thought. It was simple I missed my girl? Wtf. How in anyway is that wrong? I have been there for her and she for me the whole relationship. It was times I should and could have expressed my fear to her. But I ran from it.

    • But like most girls they hold stuff in until the explosion is beyond surviving. Yes I should not have said we should split up. But I didn't expect for someone who just days before was sooo in love with me to run especially after I loved her enough to let her go. And she want ed to come back. Understand I know my place. I did the no contact to heal her heal. According to her she didn't want me to go anywhere. And even said it was selfish but she still wants me there. So I had to tighten up and make this decision to help her

  • Leave her alone. You've already done enough to hurt her. Stop being such a drama queen and get the fuck over yourself.

    • How am a drama queen? Because I really understand my mistakes and are owning up to them? FEAR is nothing to look down on!!! I have overcome mines. Question is have have you? You seem broken... not strong. It so you would understand the real definition of understanding. I'm wrong for fighting for what I believe in?

    • "So I was mad and told her I think we should split up. DIDN'T MEAN IT AT ALL."
      "I was the one begging to get her back"
      "This was mainly an attention freak out."
      You are the definition of a drama queen. You cheat, you get mad, you freak out, you need attention, you break up without actually meaning it, and then you're "confused" when she actually doesn't know if she wants you back? Are you fucking kidding me? You're acting like a 5 year old brat, no wonder she doesn't know if she wants you anymore.
      I seem broken for calling you out on your obvious bullshit? Ok then.

    • +1 This guy seems like a bunch of dramatic trouble so he needs to stay out of this girl’s life.

What Guys Said 0

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