How to deal with missing an undeserving ex who broke your heart?

I’m currently missing this undeniable asshole who mistreated our bond, took advantage of my kindness, and totally sh*tted all over me. I just love him so much and I HATE that this is the type of human being my heart attached to. : ( Despite all the sh*t that he’s put me through, all the times he’s made me cry, the many nights he let me go to bed feeling unwanted, the disrespect, the lies, the disposal…. apart of my heart still loves him. Damn, now that’s true unconditional love when someone stabs you in the back yet you can still humbly put your pride aside and acceptingly love them for their whole self. *sighs* What should I do? I made a vow to myself that I would never speak to him again and I’ve been so strong about it up until 2 days ago. I’m beginning to miss the little things about him that constructed one big chunk of my heart being his…. his frame, his lips, his laugh, his smile, his quirky habits, his walk…. awwww muthafckn shiiiiiiit. : ( *gulp* Help…?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are [psychologically] attached to your ex because of chemical reactions in your brain. I imagine you probably had sex with him which can amplify that process. That is why it's wise to be cautious before you have sex with someone.

    This is why I have a problem with the modern conception of "love", it locks you into your emotions which can and does deceive people. Letting go is difficult but you can do it! First I would try to teach yourself not to think about him and the best way to do that is to remind yourself of what he did to you when he pops in your mind. Secondly, at some point it wouldn't hurt to start talking with new people if for not other reason to distract yourself and to make new friends that could lead to more possibly!

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    • I miss kissing him right now : (

    • I miss holding his big a**, abnormally large head in the palm of my small hands. Popping his back pimples. His little, light smacks on my azz then running away while we would hang out at his house. Being pantsed while he tricked me into washing dishes. Shit shit shit shit shit

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What Guys Said 2

  • You keep reminding yourself how he treated you and sit back and all yourself is that all you were worth? The answer should be no. When you find yourself missing him, remember the tears he made you shed. Occupy your time with nature and things you enjoy doing. Smile more often. Smoking he's take people out of depression. And make a vow to yourself to have more self worth and until then you will not date.

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    • Smiling!! Don't smoke.. lol.. it'll make it worst!

    • Lol @ autocorrect fail. :P Thanks for this post. I’ve made this my personal mission and so far it’s been successful but it’s the times where I retreat to my apartment and I’m alone with the T. V. and couch that flurries of his memories begin to fill my mind : / We had such a goo bond but he ruined it.

  • What you're feeling for him probably isn't unconditional love nor are you condemned to feel this way about him. Learn to love him outside of just being attached.

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    • Hmmmm if not unconditional love then what do you think it is…? I’m curious…?
      I don’t want to love this man : (

    • Nobody's inherently good or bad, in that respect it's completely understandable to be missing him like this. As shadowlegend points out, what you're likely longing for is what you *think* he is based solely on the positive qualities, hence that perception isn't entirely accurate. By forgiving him, you'll be able to better come to terms with what you were missing out on.

What Girls Said 2

  • That isn't true love, that is you denying reality and loving a fantasy of who you wish he would be. Accept the reality and the fantasy will go away and so will the feelings.

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  • You need to stop wallowing and thinking about him so much. Occupy your mind with other thoughts. Keep yourself busy. Remind yourself of the fact that he's an abusive asshole. Delete and block him everywhere to keep yourself from contacting him. You need to have some backbone, come on now.

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    • *ahem* Assumptions. I’m not wallowing and if I didn’t have a backbone then I wouldn’t have acted on the conscious decision to ignore his pleas for my forgiveness and time.

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    • @R3d_Annoymous
      Thanks so much for showing some compassion and understanding. The most effective way to get a truthful point across isn’t to bark. I really appreciate your presence. = )

    • Thank you. :)

      Good luck to you in overcoming this emotionally difficult time. When you do, you'll be so much stronger emotionally, I imagine.

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