He wants to pause our relationship until my divorce is finalized?

I've been separated for 8 months from my soon to be ex husband. I recently started dating a guy and we really got along and liked each other a lot. Since the beginning I told him I wasn't supposed to date since it can affect the custody of my child. He was ok with it at first. Now a month later I told him that it might take a couple months until we can come out in the open. He then went on to tell me that it was going to hurt him but that needed to pause until after I win custody of my child. That he really cares for me and wouldn't be able to live with himself if he's the reason I lose my child. He also wants to stay friends with me but told me it might be a while until we could hang out again because he will only hurt more if his feeling for me keep growing and we can't be together. I don't know what to do. It hurts to text with him and instead of greeting me with how was your day babe? He greets me with a what's up! Should I stay friends with him? I'm scare that he's going to move on but I wouldn't risk losing my daughter.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He cares enough and is scared also of getting hurt in the heap of what you and your 'Ex husband' are going through And-------Needed to pause until after I win custody of my child.
    At first, everything may have been peachy king but he is no dummy and with him knowing something could go sour with Him getting burned, he is also thinking of you and your sticky situation where your own pot could boil over during this tedious time of trying to get custody of your child and lose out because the other not so nice half would find out about Him and it could put a spatula into everything.
    He made the right moves right now, respect him and for now, carry on and 'stay friends' as he asks. If he isn't initiating pet names or suggesting anything else that says "We can be together" right now, keep it lite and semi sweet and either hang in there and let time dictate as to how this will go or give him your permission now to... move on...
    If he cares and loves you enough he will stay in there, hang in there. Being with someone who has baggage is hard enough in any newbie relationship. However, being with someone who has an "Ex" who is soon to be booted out and baggage to boot, is something that takes a special person and this One is indeed "Special," but smart as well and may be afraid of losing everything, not just his heart in the end, but you altogether...
    Good luck, God bless for 2015. xx

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    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to shed some light on a soft but sore subject... I hope everything works out for you.:)) xxoo

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just continue being his friend and don't lose contact. If he's willing to have a relationship with you he'll wait. Just don't lose track of him.

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  • He's right. It should be on pause. Have a little faith but if you lose him there's no loss so long as the kid is safe.

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What Girls Said 2

  • What age did you get married?

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    • when I was 16

    • Wow, live your life and don't worry about guys right now. Learn who you are alone

  • Sounds like he's a man worth waiting for.

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