Why can't people be friends with their ex even years after a breakup?

Why can't some people be friends with their ex? My ex and I dated for 4 years. During most of college. I was her first love and first sexual partner. We broke up about 2 years ago. Every blue moon we would contact each other and see how each other are doing. We both dated people since our breakup, but it seems soon as we start becoming friends she pulls a 180 and says "I need to stop, I tried to be your friend but I can't." Then disappears all Over again. My question is: why does she do that? Why can't some people be friends? I find it easy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you find it easy because you were the asshole who dumped her?
    Why are some people so selfish that they want to demote a SO yet self-absorbedly gain from their presence? GET OVER YOURSELF

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    • Actually she dumped me so you get over yourself.

    • Either way it’s asking for a messy, complex, exhausting situation. People who have crossed the boundaries of experiencing each other’s genitals typically can’t be friends.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Old feelings my friend, thats just how it is. If you loved someone with a fiery passion and things went south, its hard to be friends knowing that either of you may want something more.

    If you both have no feelings anymore then yes you can be friends. Me one of the exes are friends even though I dumped her and only lasted for like a month. But she hits me up first and I talk back but we both know nothing more will happen.

    But my current ex who was my first real love dumped me, and honestly I don't know If I could be friends down the road, for I do not want to see her with another guy, so she most likely won't be a friend down the road.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because and ex lover has no place in your life if you want to have a new lover. Trying to be friends with a lover happena for two reasons, you aren't over them and want to keep them around incase something else can happen, or you have so little options for friends that you'll take what you can get, including an ex. It's better to leave failed relationships in the past and it's more respectful to present or future partners to never make them deal with an ex.

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  • It probably brings up old feelings. Me and my ex broke up 3.5 years ago and every year or so we try to start being friends again and i end up being an emotional mess and we cut contact again for a while. I dont want to be with him but feelings definitely still arise when we are talkins again. Maybe thats what she is dealing with.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Ask the lions y

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