I just broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years. We had planned a mutual break up toward the end of our lease in May. We decided that we wouldn't mess around with other people until we were no longer officially together. Well she broke that when she told me that she met a dude and they went to a lunch date. She then said they also went to a movie and "deeply kissed". I couldn't believe someone I believed to be my best friend could betray me like this. We got in an argument and she said it wasn't her fault and that we broke up a long time ago. What? I guess I wasn't aware of that then. It was clearly an excuse. She then said we needed to talk and be officially done with. I told her she was using that as clearance for the new guy but she denied that. She has a past of playing men and her sexual partners could be as high as the 30's. We have always had problems with her past and she says it has nothing to with me and that I shouldn't even ask. I'm beginning to feel that maybe I should have seen the negatives a long time ago but I stuck with her. We were best friends a few days ago and now I feel like she doesn't even care about me. I moved out of our apartment. She already plans to watch the super bowl with the new guy. It may be that she simply can't be alone? How could she feel fine about moving on so fast? This really ticks me off. I should have obviously ended this long ago. Any thoughts?
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Here are my thoughts... a lot of women are lying, manipulative, pieces of shit. They want what they want and will do what they want to do, always. However they might agree to a stipulation like you two had because a) it keeps you on the back burner in case what they are looking at doesn't work out and b) because it keeps them from looking like a whore until they are ready to commit to the next relationship.
I broke up with my ex a week after we took break, keep in mind we have a 3 year old son together. We agreed to 30 days to work on ourselves but after a week of seeing how she was treating me, etc I knew that she was playing me. So I did the only respectable thing I could at that point and broke up with her.
Looking back I remember about a month or two before she had told me she thought she might want to be single for a while, needed space, etc. Like a true beta I told her I would do whatever I could to save the relationship and when she stayed I thought I had saved it. In hindsight she was probably already talking to someone else and just didn't want to look like a whore with me in the picture. Once things got stronger between them she asked for this break, again so she could save face.
When someone wants to break up you just gotta do it. Lesson learned. They don't care about you anymore and they probably are ready to move on to someone else. No point in setting time tables or whatever. It is what it.
Take solace in the fact though that most rebound relationships never work out, especially those where cheating was involved. Karma is a motherfucker and the pain you feel for what she did to you will eventually come back on her.
We knew we should have ended ours a long time ago and we can only be mad at ourselves for trying to preserve something that wasn't going to last. We probably saw all the signs but chose to ignore. Denial is a motherfucker.0