When I am sad or down, I listen to voice mails from my ex, is this preventing me from moving on?

My ex sent me voice mails (at the time she was my girlfriend) saying how I am so awesome, smart, handsome, and she is going to be waiting at home for me and can't wait. It makes me feel good. Not that I have low self esteem but the dating world is surprisingly tough and so is work. So it makes me feel better.

I still have problems getting over her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Absolutely! You ever heard of the term ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ ? It’s true. Subtract any reminder of your ex from your mind and it makes your ability to move forward without longing for them SO much easier.

    Break-ups are tough, but the only way to heal is to embrace that person’s absence. You do this by deleting/blocking them from any social media (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram), delete their number *something about seeing their name has a psychological trigger*, and do not engage their attempts to stay in your life. This is how life’s beauty starts to reclaim the center stage in your mind. If you wanna get over your ex, you have to totally get them off of your radar so that you can genuinely focus on new things. Close the lines of communication and get rid of things that make you miss them.

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    • Ignore the little girl: this is grown folk’s business anyway. She’s not equipped to contribute so don’t let her premature presence get to you.
      @Your_boss960

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    • Sure! : )

    • Ok, I messaged you.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It is preventing you from moving on. I have voice mails that I have yet to erase, but I won't listen to them. I have pictures I can't pay with but I won't look at. I know one day I will but until my heart is healed I can't. But the only way to heal is to start letting go.

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  • Though its sweet that you listen to her voice, yes i do have to admit it will give you hard time to move on. Breakups suck, i know because i just broke up with my ex 2 months ago. The only thing i can suggest is to remove anything of her.. and sadly that would be deleting the voicemails too. That's really the only way you can surely try to move on. Now that doesn't mean you have to delete her from your mind completly, but by doing this at least in time it will get easier and you can eventually have move on and hopefully meet someone new along the way. good luck

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    • How do girls move on so quickly and easily? It's been tough to move on because I feel like I lost something very special. I only listen to her words because I don't have anyone else telling me I am awesome or supports me.

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    • It is hard, I do agree with you on that. One thing I can say is maybe not try so hard.. if you go out on dates with girls just take it all really casual, don't assume anything more may come out of it except maybe at the least a good friendship or someone to hang out with. It's like that saying "you find it when you're least looking".. and since you're still not over your ex I think it's best not to put so much pressure on yourself now. Take everything really casual and just go with the flow, it will take time but eventually as each day passes the feelings will get easier and easier. Breakups are hard, but in a tough way at times it also can help you with each relationship in finding that right person. Hope that helps

    • I think so, I just have this urgent feeling that now I need to find someone. I am getting older... and I really thought I found the right person. I've been on a few dates and no one so far... I've asked even more girls and getting fewer ones interested. Demoralizing. Makes me think: Did I have someone who was right for me and lost them?

  • Maybe you shouldn't have done what you did. (If you are the same anon from that other question)

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    • Done what?

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    • Maybe you shouldn’t play Sherlock Holmes on GAG and assume that you know everything, trying to accuse anonymous users on a website with people from ALL OVER THE WORLD of being the same QA’s.

    • @panorama maybe you shouldn't get offended by other people's opinions. And maybe you should mind your own buisness.

      Well goodbye. I am blocking you. :)

  • Of course its preventing you from moving on...

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What Guys Said 1

  • It happens man. There's nothing wrong with looking back and seeing how great it was though. I still think about that girl from time to time and wonder how she's doing. But never will I contact her

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