Can you please tell me what to do? My girlfriend isn't sure whether or not to break up with me.

NOTE: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a month and a half now.
My girlfriend told me today that she is not sure whether or not she wants to break up or not. She tells me that I am literally the perfect guy and that she is really attracted to me as well and that I make her feel special.
However she says that she feels like she doesn't do enough for me (which is wrong if you ask me). Like she doesn't talk to me enough because she has a lot of homework and that she is in the school play. She also thinks that I take the relationship to seriously. Also she doesn't like that I am overly chivalrous because she is a independent person.
She told me that she is going to think this over because I told her that I believe that she is over reacting to all of this, (because this is her first relationship and doesn't know what to do). So I want to know if there is anything I can do to make her stay with me?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems like you're acting on too much of the boyfriend role.

    She says she doesn't do enough for me? Why does she say that, is she by any chance comparing yourself to you? e. g you do so much for her, that what she does for you pales in comparison in her eyes?

    Maybe you like being kind, but if thats the case you need to back off. I really dont like when Im being bad (e. g. not listening to my mum) someone beside is acting good (my brother acting all goody-good), it makes me feel guilty.

    She says she's independent? She means she likes her freedom and you're being overly boyfriendy and its suffocating her

    Its like I love chocolate but I feel sick if I have too much, thats a really bad analogy but give her a chance to miss you.

    In order to save your relationship you need to give her what she's missing and that is her personal space and freedom.

    So text a message saying that you respect her need for space and time to think and to give her a call when she's ready

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Most Helpful Guy

  • if you want to keep her, break it off dude!!! tell her you want some space because you dont like being stuck in Limbo. this way you remain controll and you give her some time to miss you.

    i know it sounds counter productive but you want to be in controll, dont let a girl who can't make up her mind have controll over you like this. it will ruin you dude, i went through this, i wished i broke it off, not because i wanted to but because i was letting an emotional abusive and unstable single mother take controll of my life. she threw her life away and i was willing to throw mines away, i had no aimbitions nothing.

    tell her ''YOU'' want some space, its always about you, not about her, she loves you or she doesn't.

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    • I agree.. Walk away cold turkey.. No need for a lot of discussion.. Let her wonder wtf happened.. Dont stop being a gentleman.. Give that gift to a girl that appeciates it...

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What Girls Said 20

  • I kinda understand her point of view. It's not that she doesn't care about you, but it could be that she doesn't feel like she is in the relationship. She has a lot of homework to do and is in a school play. Her schedule is packed. She could feel like she isn't giving it her all in the relationship, since she is busy with so much, which ends in her not feeling 'right' in it. This is her first relationship so it could make her feel like she isn't doing enough for you because she has other things to do than be with you every single second. Do not take me the wrong way. I'm not saying that she doesn't enjoy being with you, but there are other things she might enjoys also. Which is only healthy :) I say you ask her about these things and if they are the problem just talk it out with her. It could also be that she is just afraid and insecure. With no knowledge of what to do and how to behave, she could be over thinking things and get scared so she might want to run away. Do not take these things to the heart. Just have a light conversation about this. If she wants to break up with you doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you, it could be that she isn't just ready for a relationship. Good luck :)

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    • I understand you guys are really young so you probably don't get it yet, but if a girl is really interested she will make time for you and she will give it her all. It's not that she can't give it everything, it's thatbshe doesn't want to, which means she's not interested.

    • I understand that I am young but that doesn't mean I'm not experienced. This girl is my age and gender so I think I understand more of what goes through a young girls head than a 30 year old male.

  • Break it off. She's coming up with excuses. If she really wants you, she wouldn't let homework or a play ruin the relationship. Also, it's only been a month so maybe you're scaring her by growing too serious too fast...

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  • If you're too chivalrous for her indepence, she's not the girl for you. Bad sign if she's already questioning. No matter what you do or say, you can't and won't change that. She's coming up with excuses because she feels that it isn't right. Believe me, I've been there. Those relationships eventually ended... might be time for you to just move on.

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  • You've been dating for less than two months and she's already your girlfriend? waht the fuck bruh. get over her. she might be with another guy but too guilty or she's just afraid. let her go.

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  • There isn't much you can do. If she wants to break up with you she will. Sounds to me like she is making up excuses not to be with you and that her hearts not really in it.

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  • Ugh, head games, hate those! I would break up with someone who said that to me. Be all in or be completely out, otherwise it's not fair to me.

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  • It's a test. She's actually testing you to see how you would react to a break-up, whether you are really into her or not and just how far you would go to keep her. It's a little immature but she is insecure and wants confirmation from you that you love her and are still keen.

    Consider all the good things she has with you: she is attracted to you, you're perfect, chivalrous, keen on her. She actually can't quite believe her luck that you date her and want to be in a relationship with her.

    Don't try and make her stay. If she wants to stay, then good. If she doesn't then that is equally good. You've offloaded an insecure & immature girl who will constantly test you until she grows up a little. I wish you the best with it.

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  • If she's teetering on whether or not to stay with you then you should let her go. She will always have that doubt. Find someone who knows for sure that they want to be with you. You sound like a great guy, find a girl that appreciates that.

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  • Tell her that you disagree with her and that u think she does enough for you, tell her how u feel about her and how much you like y'all's relationship

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    • I have. We talked for an hour about this. I told her that she does do enough, and that I don't understand why she wants to break up if I make her happy.

  • She feels like she isn't good enough for you and is worried about not being a good enough girlfriend for you

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  • If I was you and I thought everything you're saying was real. Then I'd honestly tell her as far as her reasons I'm perfectly content with how things are. I don't need more attention I don't need more appreciation from her.

    However I understands he may needs to be able to so certain things in a relationship that a he's not currently able to do , in order for her to feel good about her contribution. ( imagine you're not able to practice something as much as you need to be good at it but everyone said "don't worry. it's bad buy it's good enough". That doesn't really cut it)

    If she's unhappy and wants to go , though I'll miss her, I support her decision. Only she knows what she wants or needs.

    If she goes she should not use me as an excuse bc I'm perfectly happy with how things are.

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  • If she wants to go let her. Unhappy relationships aren't worth it. Wait on something better. True love is hard to find but it'll be worth every waiting moment. :)

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  • she is busy wanna concentrate maybe
    or
    she doesn't find you interesting

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  • If she really cared about you and really wanted the relationship to work then she would spend more time with you and try to make it work.

    If she feels that you take the relationship too seriously then maybe you are. It's been a month and a half not a year and a half. Take your time and enjoy your time together. Don't pressure her into doing anything or rush the relationship because then she will feel awkward and she won't be comfortable around you.

    Try and make it work and remember that it's only been a month and a half. Enjoy it. If you've given it time and the relationship still isn't working, then maybe break up but don't give up before you try.

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  • Just take a deep breath calm down lookup a day when both of u r free and go for a picnic

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  • f she wants to go let her

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  • She sounds crazy.

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  • she ain't interested! let her go! dont pay attention to her!

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  • Sounds like she's comforting you with lies... If you're not sure you want to be with somebody... That just means there is doubt and/or could be someone else... You should just leave her your self... Don't wait for her...

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  • To me it sounds like an excuse yes she may be too busy with things but if she really cared she would let you know that and let you decide. Since she feels she's too busy and seems like she doesn't know what she wants let her go for now.. give her time to think.. trust me if she really cares or misses you she will come back my ex and I broke up and a yr and 5 mths later we eventually got back together. Now we are stronger than ever

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What Guys Said 23

  • Nothing you can do about it, she's going to break up with you.

    She's got all that goodness to say about you, yet she's thinking about breaking up with you?

    She's letting you go softly, I'd just move on before her if I were you. Thank God it was after a month and a half, and not after 3 years.

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  • Tell her the ball is in her court. Is she willing to devote herself to you?

    Are YOU willing to abstain from sex with her until after marriage?

    If the answer is "No" to either of these, the relationship will not work long term.

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    • Lmao, what? I feel like you're injecting an awful lot of nonobjective personal values into this.

  • Seems she is trying to let you go gently by playing the "it's not you it's me card". I would let her go. To be honest there isn't much invested there and if she to have this kind of think of breaking up this early she obviously wasn't fully buying in to this relationship as it is.

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  • Sounds to me like she wants to break up with you but she isn't sure how to do it. It's pretty common these days that people of both genders will attempt to get the other person to break up with them so they don't have to feel guilty about being the bad guy.

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  • girls can be complicated sometimes... but i think she feels that she is not good enough for you... if you love her.. tell her that t doesn't matter if she spends less time or talks to you less... you are happy with her as she is... and that she doesn't need to panic cause there is no rush what so ever... tell her to take it one day at a time...

    try this maybe she just needs assurance from you...

    AND ALWAYS REMEMBER IN YOUR AGE ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO LET SOME THINGS GO... ITS ALL FOR THE GOOD!!

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  • I don't know, if a girl really loves you she'll chase after you, flood her fb pictures with you two and be jealous of every other girl talking to you...

    if she is looking for excuses even if you are being consistent and don't mind her occupying her own things then she just wants you to cut her loose so she does not feel guilty

    it sucks i know but that's how it generally goes

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  • Those are just lame excuses if she really likes you, she will find some time for you no matter how little it can be. Since is her first relationship she probably doesn't know how to end it. is going to hurt trust me I know it! But it does make you stronger as a person and with time you'll get it over. Try to concentrate on other things like school, sports or maybe a personal good, it helps to keep your mind occupy from the negative sad stuff. good luck bro!

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  • Son, I suggest you leave this girl. She probably will make your love life a living hell. She's indecisive because she believe that she isn't into you but she's afraid she may miss out on something good and she doesn't want to regret it. The man has spoken!!

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  • She needs space. Talk about taking breaks in between each week, where both of you have minimal or no contact at all. It's a midway point between what she think she wants and what you want. :)

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  • For one, cut the "chivarly" crap out. You're not a knight or a lord, kid, and she's not a lady.

    Second, break up with her. Seriously. Break up with her first.

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  • If you you have no problem with her not talking to you enough, then let her know that she is doing great and she has nothing to worry about, and that you love being in the relationship with her

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  • Seems like she sees you as the nice guy and she doesn't want the nice guy right now. She doesn't seem appreciative of you. You should break up with her and focus on yourself.

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  • How old are you guys 12? Tell her if she's not sure if she wants you then she isn't good enough for you.

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  • Act like you don't care. Keep your eye out for another girlfriend. There are women who will appreciate your gentlemanly behavior. Obviously she doesn't.

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  • It's already over. Just end it. Don't keep suffering. There's women that want you and will show it.

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  • Don't fight you will either hate yourself or the other. Neither position is one you want to be at. If she says so you say no. Period.

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  • Break up with her. If she wants to be with you she will move mountains to do so.

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  • Sounds like she's just young and the thought of a long term relationship is scaring her off. Also this being her first relationship sounds like she wants to break up with you but doesn't know how without hurting your feelings. Break ups are always rough no matter what.
    If your looking for something serious and long term you don't want to be with someone who isn't on that same level as you, it's bound to turn out bad.
    Your best bet is to back off a little and give her some space, don't make a big deal out of it and just go about your life. Go have fun with friends and what not. As counter productive and hard as this may seem it can't hurt. She'll see you having fun and think you weren't taking it as serious as she thought and be drawn back to you.

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  • I went through something similar. Honestly when a girl is "confused" something is not feeling right for her or she has attention towards someone else. You're best bet is to break it off with her, before she dumps you and you feel worse. Be single for a while and trust me if she really wants to be with you, she'll contact and beg you back, if she doesn't then you only save your dignity by dumping her before you get more hurt. Staying with her does not help with her decision, by leaving her might make her realize.

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  • Ok what you need to so is really talk to her about it. My ex broke up with me for that reason. If you really like her, which it sounds like you do, then tell her that you don't care if you only get a second per day together as long as you two are together.

    You write that she told you that she consider breaking up with you. Be careful with her. She sounds like a girl i liked once. She said she didn't like me after 3 months of consideration. She wanted me to keep writing and telling her how beautiful she is. And when i found another after 6 months she told me she LOVED me. All that just to make me keep writing that she is beautiful. What i'm trying to say is that she could be a girl that wants attention so bad that she can hurt you to get what she wants. It sounds like she wanted a reaction. She wants you to tell her she is everything in your life. But she could also be a very good girl for telling you that she consider breaking up with you because she wants to solve the problem and not break up. Be careful with that girl anyway.

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