Went on first date, no longer interested, what do I tell him?

I'm in college but I've never dated anyone. I met a guy at a party through mutual friends and he seemed very nice. He asked me out on a coffee date for the next day before I went home that night. I got coffee with him and he really is very sweet however I simply don't feel much of a connection with him. Also, I don't think I want to start dating yet. I've felt pressure from my friends in relationships and also my family to start dating so I really did want to give it a try but I just don't want to have to worry about that right now. Unfortunately, I can tell he is very interested in me and texts me quite frequently. I have no idea what to say to him or even when I should. Should I wait for him to set up a second date and go on that and before I go home tell him im not ready to date or what? I'm trying to do it as painlessly as possible because like I said we have mutual friends and the chances of me seeing him again are pretty good. Plus, I really wouldn't mind remaining friends, I just don't see myself dating him. Any advice is appreciated since I have no idea what I'm doing!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You appear to be mature and with this, very smart and know how you feel and what you want and it Isn't------I don't think I want to start dating again.
    Put this to bed so you can rest easy. You do need to set the record straight with the guy here, dear, who 'I can tell he is very interested' or this will go on and could end up down a beaten problem for him when he does finally learn, even after a 'Second date' that you would make, that he just got burned.
    You say he 'Texts me quite frequently' so perhaps by you initiating replies to this guy all the time, it is leading him on to most likely head him in the direction of asking you out for probably more this time than coffee... perhaps a table for two.
    Text him and tell him you are going to be pretty busy the next month or so and you aren't going to have time for a lot. Tell him you appreciate his Friendship (Emphasize this) and you had a nice time over the coffee but right now, dating isn't something you are going to have a lot of time for and it's nice to be friends, thank you.
    If you do happen to bump into him, it may be awkward but he will get the hint that he is not your cup of tea.
    However, for it has happened to me a few times in my life, that with giving someone a second chance in going out with them or even having it suddenly hit me that we did have this 'Connection,' it ended up a surprise to my own eyes.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 4

  • Yeah, I don't see him taking it lightly from what you've described.

    But what else can you do but be direct about it, "hey so and so, I don't really see this going anywhere. We can still be friends but I understand if you don't."

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  • Be honest with him, but don't be a bitch about it. Just tell him that he's an awesome guy, but you're just not feeling it with him and also that you don't feel ready to date at all.

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  • Apologise for leading him on and tell him you aren't interested.

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  • Let him that you don't feel you all click. Honest truth there.

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What Girls Said 2

  • The honest truth won't hurt his feelings and honestly what you just said is perfectly fine.

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  • Just tell him and your friends that it didn't feel right and you don't want to go with anything further.

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