Why can't I get over him when it wasn't ever real?

We dated (pretty casually) for about 5 months. It was pretty complicated - he didn't want anything serious and I wanted to be open to whatever happened, but he always acted like my boyfriend when we were together. He also referred to me a his girlfriend to strangers. But we broke up because he refused to make it official or to acknowledge that it wasn't just causal anymore. I mean we were exclusive and everything. He was also pretty perfect - he ticked all the boxes. Except sometimes he was a bit obnoxious and made me feel crap about myself.

The thing is that it's been about a month and a half and I still can't get over him. Every guy I met just isn't him. I still get upset when I look at stuff he gave me. And I saw him on the street yesterday and pretty much burst into tears when I got home.

So if it wasn't a real relationship, why can't I get over him? I feel so pathetic.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been in that situation twice. The other person said they weren't looking for anything serious and I wanted to be open so I went a long with it. Long story short, for you it was real because from the get go you wanted something more serious. For him he never wanted anything serious so he got you to compromise big time and play along with him.

    Lesson you should learn from this is always be forward with what you want. Being open is good and all, but quite often it leads to heart break like this. You have to ask yourself is being serious something you really value? If it is, be forward with guys. It will save you a lot of heart ache. It's something I need to work on myself. GL, keep yourself busy :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in a very very similar situation, and like Owls said, it was real to you. You have to be patient because it's going to take time. I know that doesn't really help, but it's true. You're not pathetic. Also "He was pretty perfect... he made me feel like crap about myself" do not belong anywhere near each other. He's not perfect. If he had been, things would have worked out.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Humans emotions rarely care about various nonsense like practical application.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Cause you were inlove and believed it could work out because of his actions. Time will heal your wound eventually.

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  • You were emotionally attached and he wasn't.

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