The guy who dumped me is experiencing remorse, regret, and wants to get back together. Your thoughts?

I was going to revisit all the troublesome BS that caused our relationship to end but I guess that only holds so much relevance at this point. To sum it up, he ended things because he was overwhelmed, stressed, and thirsting for a taste of newfound American life. The frustration of being a hardworking political refugee plus the thrill and enticement of a culture that embraces things he was culturally restricted from for over two decades concluded in an imperfect, yet resourceful, loving, pure bond being tainted. I put up a fight for him because unlike him, I could see outside of his phase. Yet he pushed me away in such a cold, careless way, making me feel insignificant and cementing the idea that his presence just caused painful disappointment.

I realized that in order for me to heal and truly move on it was absolutely necessary to remove him from my radar in all possible ways. Evidently, the distance and bold dismissal of his presence has made him come to his senses, realize he had a great thing, and he claims he “misses me like crazy” and “feels like a piece of him is missing.”. I truly loved this man and it hurts me so badly that he turned our bond into a Bruno Mars song. ; ( It kills me that he has obliterated the trust and faith I maintained in him. To be honest, I don’t want to take that risk on him knowing how nasty and disappointing he can be. I’m at a wonderful place in my life and he’s just been too consistent with letting me down and suggesting that he’s not worth the risk. What should I do? What do you think? What are your opinions on this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • An ex is an ex for a reason. What has changed that will make things work out this time?

    • Apparently what has changed is now he realizes what’s right in front of his face.
      I just don’t know…the idea of getting back together with him doesn’t make me happy or excited anymore and I hate that he has done this to our bond. I tried so hard to be patient, vulnerable, and understanding of him yet he just didn’t appreciate it and sh*tted all over it. Now I just feel like he’s not trustworthy and that giving him a place in my life will lead me to heartache : ( I don't know what to do

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    • Thanks a bunch for the encouragement! I’m really proud of myself because I have embraced life’s other forms of beauty and totally ignored his attempts to reach out. I just wish I didn’t feel this bit of intense love for him. I hate it. Can’t stand it, don’t want to feel so intensely for such an asshole. It’s hard to ignore it…. what worked for you?

    • Cut all contact, don't try to remember (ie, don't read text messages, fb conversations etc), keep on living like normal, and don't try to find love again before you no longer miss him.

      It's hard, it takes time, and it will hurt. But it will work if you don't give up

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What Guys Said 3

  • If he dumped you, Then he has already proven your worth to him. You know the saying, Burn me once, It's your bad, Burn me twice, It's my bad? Same rule applies here. Why take him back if he bailed on you in the first place? Know your worth. If you take him back, He will just assume he can keep getting away with what ever he is or is not doing. I hope you make the choice to not be his door mat.

  • If you still like him then get back with him if you don't then leave alone.

    • It's not that simple.

  • He dumped you? He's probably coming back because he thinks you're a sure thing.

    • That’s what I thought at first too but I’ve been straight up ignoring him for over a month now and he still keeps trying. He’s texted me numerous times and even left a note on my car beneath the window shield.

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    • I am. Hence this post : /

    • If You're suspicious then, You shouldn't have to ask Yourself any questions! The answer is 'NO'!

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