My husband and I have been together since high school. We had our daughter our senior yr, I had thought everything with us was great and didn't notice all the times he called me fat and ugly in the beginning. We went away to college with our daughter, when he started using cocaine. I told him I was leaving and coming back home that I didn't want anything to do with that life and wanted to be a good parent to our daughter. We didn't hear from him for two years, in the mean time I finished nursing school and was really proud of how my daughter and I were moving on, it was lonely at times but we were ok. He ended up going to rehab and "changing" I thought all along I loved him and when he came back we started dating again and got married. We waited to have anymore children and then we had our son two years ago. While I was pregnant with our son he started this extreme yelling at me telling me I was ugly and fat. It escalated to him literally picking me up by the neck and slamming me into walls holding me by the neck choking me. It wasn't all the time but he would go through fits of rage. When our son was born it was better for a while but he would say I need to get to the gym and would literally make me go at 5am every morning for two hours. He started getting furious if I was around my family so I would sneak around to see my mom and dad. His abuse continued until he started cheating on me with girls from Facebook and tinder. I caught it an he came home punching me over an over in the face slamming my head into the ground. He picked me up and threw me outside so I ran to my neighbors to call the police. He was arrested and charged with felony demostic assault with intent to kill. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant again. I am now 8 months pregnant, the kids and I have left him but he will send me texts randomly from strange numbers with pictures of cows. He used to say I was a fat cow. Am I wrong to still have this hurt really bad and be so sad?
Most Helpful Girl
The thing is that we can't control our feelings. Of course, it would be better for you to be able to forget about him and not be hurt by what he's done and how things have turned out with him. I think it's easy for us to say that you shouldn't feel bad and be glad that you got rid of him, but the truth is that you have two (soon three) kids with this guy and you were with him since high school. So obviously he is a big part of your life and naturally it makes you sad, even if he is objectively an asshole. Even if deep down inside you know you're better off without him. I think what you need is time and you will see that it will hurt a little less as time goes on.
One more word about the pictures of cows he sends to you: have you told the police about that? If not, you definitely should since he still harasses you despite the fact he was arrested and charged. You should document everything he sends to you end give it to the police.0