Why is my ex acting like this?

I (22yrs) was dating this guy (25yrs old) for 6 months. He broke up with me over the weekend over the phone, even though he lives 10 mins away and passes where i live every time he goes to work. Since it was over the phone it was hard to hear him because he was mumbling and hard to talk for long. He said that he wanted to break up because the novelty wore off, but i still dont know what that means. He seemed a little upset and offered to remain friends. Since I was kind of blind sided by the breakup, I wasn't sure what else to ask. Then as the past few days went on there were three questions i wanted to ask him to get some closure. So the other day I texted him to see if we could just talk for a little bit because i just wanted to ask him something for closure. He never responded. Then at night, he was on Facebook, so I messaged him again. He said that he did not want to talk about the break up. I said i understood but I would really appreciate it because I just want some closure and would help me move on. He read it but did not respond. Then after awhile, I sent him another message saying I understand if he doesn't want to talk about the breakup but if he could give me a reason. He said he doesn't want to go through it again. He wants to not focus on the past and to look forward. His opinion might change but thats how he feels. Then i asked if he wanted to remain friends, since he wants to look forward. He said it was up to me. Then i just repeated that if i meant anything to him that if he ever wants to talk about the break up i would really appreciate it to get some closure. He's been on fb chat but didn't read it. What should I do? I dont want to bother him but I just really want some closure. Do you why he would be acting this way? I get that we are not together, but he used to be really nice. With all my exes they either allow me a chance to ask questions for closure or I allow my exes a chance to ask me questions for closure.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Give him some time and maybe eventually he'll want to talk about it. Just be his friend in the meantime.

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    • how would you suggest being his friend? we haven't spoken since i last messaged him to talk (about a week ago)?

    • So maybe I used the wrong word. At least try to keep i contact though. If he didn't answer, it's his fault and he can't blame you later.

    • Thats true. Thank you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • After I read the part about how he broke up with you I already had an opinion before reading the rest. He did not want to face you because he feels REALLY guilty about something. He did something really wrong, like maybe cheating. Move on. He's not going to give you ammo to use against him and ruin his chances with other girls. This guy is being shady, selfish, and doesn't deserve you in any way, not even as a friend.
    The "novelty" part refers to the "honeymoon phase" of every relationship. When a relationship is new, you're too happy and excited by the new love to really see the person for who they are. It usually lasts 2 weeks to a month, and then the relationship is really beginning. This is when you actually decide if you want them long term, or realize they're not right for you, and end it. That's why I really think he cheated on you.

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    • I kind of had a similar feeling. I really wish I could talk to him and get a definitive answer on if he did do something, like cheating. Do you think I should reach out again and see if we can talk or just accept it and move on? I don't want to be friends, but I would like to know if he did something and why.

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    • That makes sense. I probably am better off without him if he can't be honest with me. I wish I knew what went wrong, but I guess I'll never know. Thank you! :)

    • Good luck and be strong!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe he regrets something he did while you were in the relation, and he just prefers not telling you what he did and broke up, than telling you what he ddi and hurting you.

    Asits seems it came out of the blue.

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    • I kind of had a feeling. He seemed pretty shady when he was breaking up with me and then his behavior afterwards. Do you think I should reach out again and see if we can talk or just accept it and move on? I don't want to be friends, but I would like to know if he did something and why.

    • I personally would move on, if he doesn't want to give me any reason I would be so pissed and all I would fuck him off. And I think its also the best you can do, don't chase him and move on, he doesn't deserve your attention.

  • He wants to remain friends so he can still get a pop at you every now and then. He has zero feelings for you.
    Cut the loser out of your life. Been there, done that... too many times to remember!!!

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