Affair or End it?

Hello. I need some opinions even though I think I know what the most of you say. To make a long story short I began having an affair with a married high school friend that I haven't seen in 26 years. We would meet once a week. One day after "hanging out together" he called and said his wife found all the text messages and everything was out in the opening. After a few days he called and said he wanted to work on his marriage for the kids (always the kids). I said okay even though it hurt and non thinking about him non-stop. Only about 4 days later he called and said he misses me and wants to talk. I had a 10 minute conversation with him and he said he can't leave his wife but he does have feelings for me. Once again I said "OK". The emails are now coming in and he wants to meet for a real goodbye. I don't want to but I have the desire to. I know I should let it go but its so freakin' hard. Has anyone else there in a similar situation? I don't need to be bashed on here. Just need some advice about moving on.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are in the wrong for ever intruding on his marriage in the first place. I am not going to attempt to negate his wrongfulness in this matter because there is enough blame to be shared between the two of you. Are you aware tat your actions can partially be the reason for his entire family life to be destroyed? And let's say he does leave his wife for you. Since he has already proven that he cannot even be loyal to his own wife, What in the hell makes you somehow think that he will be true to you? You clearly are not thinking on this one. This is a situation you should have avoided from the word go. Married = off limits.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is where you need to see the situation for what it is. He won't leave his wife, he doesn't respect or value either of you. He is a pathetic, decietful bastard and you didn't respect his marriage. Start making better choices and start right now, don't talk to him, don't meet up for a "goodbye" sex session, be a better person than you have been.

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    • Thank you. That is the kind of stuff I need to hear to make me stronger and dislike him more. I'm going to be reading your answer for the next few days after the thoughts kick in again

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    • Well, You know, She's just as in the wrong as he is. She did know he was married and chose to engage regardless.

    • Yes, I did know. However, this will start a whole new debate here. He is the one that is married and has a commitment to his wife. And YES I feel horrible that he is blaming his wife for his actions. With this say I don't believe the mistress should be given the name as the home wrecker. This was his actions. Don't get me wrong I do understand the affair was wrong.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Im in a similar situation. Honestly, if he can't leave his wife and kids, you must end it. He must either divorce and go for you or cut you out. I have a mistress but we not physical (im in another country) she is taken too, so its an emotional affair. But yeah its tough... the heart wants what it wants.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Tell him meeting up one last time wouldn't be in his children's best interest... and then hang up on him. You were fine before he came along, you will be fine without him from here on out. The feelings you have are just that--feelings. You can manage them. It was fun while it lasted, but to paraphrase Kurt Cobain, it's better to let it burn out than to let it fade away.

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  • You know the correct answer is to end the relationship. You don't even need to see him for a final goodbye.
    It's hard to let go, but he was never yours to begin with.
    If you truly meant anything to him, he would be with you. Kids or no kids. He's a coward. Let his wife deal with him. He's created trust issues that will never go away. you don't need that burden in your life. It's not worth it. Be thankful and be happy it's over.

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