Boyfriend broke up with me, how do I handle it?

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year. Everything was great at first but the last couple of months, it has been really rocky. About two weeks ago he told me that he wanted more freedom in the relationship because he felt as though he just couldn't do anything. So we talked and we compromised and worked things out ( or so I thought).
Then up until this morning everything seemed great. He texted me last night saying he was going to go to a party with his brother and that he loved me and I was completely okay with that. Then this morning he just texted me saying he wanted to be alone and didn't want to be with me anymore. I was completely confused because I thought things were going great.
Anyways he eventually told me that last night he got super drunk and made out with someone but he didn't remember and his brother told him this morning about it. I asked him if he still loved me and he just replied with I don't know. So we broke up and I told him I hope you're happy with this and he replied with "Im sorry I dont even know if I am going to be happy". So Im just trying to understand why he seemed so unaffected and seemed like he didn't really care at all about our breakup. Does he really not love me anymore or did he just say that? He told me that he doesn't want to lose me but doesn't want to be in a relationship and I just don't understand how you could love someone but not want to be with them.
I just need advice maybe from a guy on what could be going through his mind and some advice on how to move on. Thank you!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Throughout time, I do think it is possible that someone within such a relationship just does not feel like it's a match. It does not mean that anyone is wrong, But sometimes, Things do change. Maybe he sees you more as a friend than a lover. As another guy put it, You have been friend zoned.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't really tell you what's going on his mind rn but it may have been something he had been thinking of doing for a while. Smiling and putting on a act trying to see if things would actually get better but for him it really didn't but for you you were blindsided because you didn't see he was actually unhappy still. But moving on wise, take it one day at a time. If he's not trying to keep in contact with you or checking up on him, don't start texting him to keep In contact. After some time delete messages, pictures , his contact out of your phone , just about anything that reminds you of him get rid of it. But leisurely don't rush it because you'll end up missing him. And if you need to cry, by all freaking means cry. Give yourself that time to let it all out and just cry to that one sad song. Don't play 50 sad songs though and depress yourself but do let it out at times when you really need too. Don't let it build up. But honestly just take it day by day and it gets easier. A day will seem like forever if you just wallow so distract yourself but as you seem fit.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like he values you as a friend, but no longer wants to be in a sexual relationship. To be frank, you've been friend zoned.

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  • On his mind? Who cares. He's an ex. He's irrelevant.

    It will take time. Focus on your hobbies.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds like his feelings had been fading for a while. I'm sorry but I recommend focusing on your work/studies, clubbing, hanging with friends. Other guys will be approaching you soon.

    Would you look at some of my questions please? Thanks!

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  • Lil' boy needs to grow up and be a man before he can truly love a woman or anyone other than himself

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  • Sounds like he has lost feelings for you or perhaps fallen out of love with you. He probably has a lot on his mind right now who knows. Or maybe he just doesn't know what he wants or doesn't feel that spark in a relationship anymore. I wouldn't focus your mind so much on him right now. I would use this time, to focus on yourself. Cut off all contact with him completely. If you still have his number in your phone delete it permanently. Delete him and block him off of all social networks. I think the spark has been lost in your relationship and maybe he has lost interest in you or fallen out of love or just wants space and time to his self. Don't try to understand someone. If it was meant to be, it would've been but it wasn't meant to be. I understand that's hard to come through but maybe it just wasn't working anymore. Break ups are like glass, its better to keep them broken then to try to put the pieces back together, it only makes it worse. Sometimes you can try your hardest and it still isn't enough. He just wants to friend zone you but if I were you I wouldn't be friends with him. It'll just feel weird and confusing and it'll hurt. Distract yourself find a hobby that you like and stick to it. Volunteer somewhere that you may like and do it. Cut him out of your life completely. If he ever gave you anything on the holidays, donate it or throw it away. Give yourself time to vent if you need to. You will move on but it takes time, a lot of time but you can do it. I know I did, and I felt so much better.

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