I was so childish in our relationship and I could never understand why I couldn't just express myself "normally". He would always tell me I'm not normal and that would always upset and cause me to react more negatively when all I wanted was just to be held.
I hurt him so many times but I always felt pain from and unloved and was so unhappy that I ended up, consciously, breaking my promise.
"This is what you want, now you have it" is what he told me. But it wasn't what I wanted, I just wanted him to understand my pain. So, for so many years I would always find some method to hurt him emotionally and it angers me because I couldn't just keep my mouth shut and accept it.
"You'll be fine, your always fine" is what he last told me, when he came for the lastif his things in our house. WHY? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO ADD SALT TO THE WOUND? I never wanted this...
I've tried begging him back and he won't come back... He says "I don't want to deal with this relationship anymore"
I tried so hard! SO HARD for 6 years to make him happy and all I did was hurt him! It's not fair...
I don't know what to do. Nothing is helping. And now when my son asks where he is, I can't tell him "he's not coming back". He's not his child, but he did raise him, so he won't visit him just because.
Sorry for my rambling. I didn't know where else to go.
Thank you for reading this.