My ex is online dating not sure what to do?

Background: I broke up with a guy two month about half months ago because he was cheating and lying to me constantly. We were very serious and lived together and even got a puppy together. He decided I think to see if the grass was greener elsewhere and took off and moved out (and went to another country to pursue this new interest). He told me I should date other guys but we can talk anytime... try to make it work in the future. I told him that I would not wait around, that his behavior was unacceptable and that it was completely over and 'his words meant nothing,' as I no longer trust him. I said 'no' to keeping the door open, very clearly. I decided that I wanted to be treated well and would not tolerate that behavior. Since then he has texted me about 6 times (I miss you... talk to me...) and I received an email shortly after he left about how he made a 'huge mistake' "loved me" etc... much more than that. I have ignored all attempts at communication. There were a lot of other things wrong with the relationship. He was jealous, had angry violent tantrums and was controlling. He could be very insulting to the point of bullying or emotional abuse. Frankly, I am glad he is gone because he seems like he has some serious personality disorders, even if I did feel all of the regular disappointment and sadness at first. Now, onto my question: I was feeling very good lately. I decided to go online and try dating. I log in to find that he is on my town's dating site, even though he no longer lives here. I immediately erased my profile but now I feel conflicted. I have a right to be there but if I am, am I engaging in some kind of mind game? And if I stay off am I letting him intimidate me? I then realized that he might have lied about keeping a set of keys to my home. Then I check his social media (which I was strictly avoiding for weeks) and it's a picture of him and my dog. I am not sure how to proceed. Can I online date or should I protect myself and stay offline?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You two aren't in a relationship and from what you say it's a good thing too!
    You have every right to be on a dating site and shouldn't feel that just because he's there doesn't mean you can't be. Just try to stay out his way and do NOT go back on his social media accounts, it will only spell bad news

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1) Change your locks.
    2) Date online anyway. His dating life doesn't matter anymore, and it is irrelevant to your dating life. You should be able to block him on the dating site, so if he bugs you, block him. Otherwise don't concern yourself with him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • you need to just get on with your life, it doesn't matter what he's doing. i dont mean to sound harsh but thats the way it is

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What Girls Said 1

  • Stop cyber stalking him and move on with your life.

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