Do you guys have any suggestion to how I am able to find the strength to end a torturous cycle?

A cycle between me and my ex boyfriend, where we keep coming back to each other, but it is unhealthy and has me feel unhappy. I love him very much, and he loves me.
We are no good for each other though, but it is very difficult to find the strength to move forward, since he was my first in most things that are intimate, and I can feel I am almost there..

Anything? :) thank you

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think one of the biggest things that will help you is, pardon the cliche here, is "rationalizing it." Not all rationalizing is deflecting or making excuses.

    You come to terms with why you end it. It may hurt. But you get your reasons, you show yourself why the relationship is unalterable at this point and cannot be fixed / worked through. You define why these reasons are dealbreakers, why they are unacceptable that you go on that way.

    Then when you leave for good and he asks why, it is optional to tell him. He may or may not understand, that is your choice. But when you ask yourself why, you can shoot back a response in your own mind. You've thought it through, you have weighed everything out, and you know you are making the decision for good reasons.

    It will allow you to "stick" with it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know this might be difficult for you because of how you said he has been your first everything, but just remember that in order to love you first have to start by loving yourself. If you really love yourself you need to try your best to move on from this unhealthy relationship. Most women just get used to these types of relationships because they get comfortable with them i know it is hard but just remember that you are valuable & that you deserve better.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Have you watched the movie "(500) Days of summer" ?

    serialchanter.files.wordpress.com/.../...ster2.jpg

    Here's the download link if you haven't seen it :)
    kickass.to/...uray-720p-600mb-ganool-t7902688.html

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  • The thing is what i realised to move on is to actually move on. Although he was your first for a lot of things there is someone else out there for you who will be your first for a whole lot of new things. Maybe you may never stop having some kind or form of love for him, but you have to realise that there's going to be a kind of love where you dont feel like how you do with him

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    • Oh thank you :) :) so much! Oh that is true about how perhaps this other person will be my first for a lot of other things... Which will likely be true. :) that does help me very much!

  • Awww sweetie pie you got back together then?
    I don't really know what to say, you know I was in the same situation last year it's difficult.

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    • Noooo we did not... :) but we are speaking!!!
      It is okay, I am just trying to find it in me to feel strong about moving on

    • Well Jamie NO.2 if you ever need a chat im usually about ;)

  • You are very innocent and unaware of this world n players !!

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  • If you feel you can reconcile you differences, work them out. If not, move on and start seeing another guy.

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What Girls Said 1

  • In what ways is it unhealthy?

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    • He does not full fill my emotional needs... Um and in times he is spiteful, and does not have the patience to communicate with me, um very accusatory, and there has been large trust issues in the past.(not involving cheating). there is more, um however these are the main ones, yes. :)
      It has me feel unhappy, and disconnected from him, but I have love for him, and I cannot shake that.

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