Any Chance to Reconcile?

My ex broke up with me four nights ago. I couldn't see it then, but I now realize it was because of my clingyness and jealousy, all stemming from my issues of insecurity. I feel like I pushed her too far with these issues and caused her to become less attracted to me and ultimately caused her to break things off. I'm devastated, but working on improving myself to figure out how to make sure this doesn't happen again.

I really want your insight on how I can rekindle the relationship. We dated for nine months, the last six months were long distance, but these nine months were a very intense and extremely bonding time. After only two months I had met and stayed with her parents in her childhood home, and after only one month we both said I love you. She was very sad to break up with me (cried the whole time) and said that I am very special to her and she loves me. She said she still wants to be friends, but doesn't know how to not be in a relationship with me. She said she would want to contact me every once in a while, but I said I'll need time, so we decided that I would be the one who contacts her when I was ready. So yesterday I sent her this message :

Hey, I just wanted to let you know where I'm at, don't feel any pressure to respond. This has pushed me to confront my issues of insecurity and jealousy. I understand that these issues have made our relationship difficult and happiness hard to attain, for that I believe this was the best decision. Our time together was so special to me that I would regret not thanking you for those sweet memories, and for that I will always love you ____.

I know because our bond was so strong that she still has feelings for me, at least for now. Was this the right move? Based on our last conversation (the breakup) I assume she had given the choice some thought, but was somewhat reluctant to actually breakup. Was this the right choice? Do I have any chance in the future?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been with a guy like you before and I must say his insecurities made it unbearable to be with him and it made me feel depressed (literally). You really have to work on yourself and be sure your not going to put her in that kind of situation again because personally for me I didn't want to be around the guy anymore because he just made me feel so bad I was depressed for the longest. And even after the fact he was still clingy and kept trying to impose on my life when I honestly needed space from him. If you do decide to try and be in her life again take it slowly , very very slowly because it's like she will have to get to know you all over again . Don't try and rush things or try and get to her threw her family. It'll be awkward for her. Just really give it time.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Talk to her.

  • Your not the only one, my ex broke up with me out of the blue about 11 months ago. I didn't really understand why because he didn't really give me any kind of closure whatsoever. At first I didn't understand why but after a couple of months I started to get the picture. I remember him writing something and giving it to me saying, "its not you, its me which means its annoying when I'm with my friends and you come out of nowhere." I was afraid that I was being annoying and I was afraid that that was going to run him away. Then I realized it was my clingyness that made him lose interest in me. I didn't realize it until I looked back at how I was acting. I acted like I had to be up under him 24/7. I made my life revolve around him way to much, and I didn't really give him any space. I was to controlling and way to clingy after I realized what made him run away. Its something I need to work on though in the future. Being clingy can really destroy a relationship. I could tell he wanted his space and that I didn't really give him. I really wish he had just told me though instead of writing it on a sheet of paper, because I knew something was wrong.


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