I don't want my ex to find out that I'm dating again, why?

We were together for a year and a half, on and off mostly. We ended it (for good) more than a month ago.
I met this great guy and we started talking and he had just broken up with his ex, so it got us closer. We started talking every day, call each other and go out together. We kissed at a party a week ago.
I'm starting to really like him and he feels the same way. But I also didn't have much time to grieve.

Now the thing is that I live in a very small city in which everyone knows everyone basically. We're trying to keep it low and go to quiet places, but we can't avoid people forever. Once we kiss in a public place, it'll be over, everyone will know and our exes will know.

And for some reason, the thought bothers me a lot. I really don't want him to know I'm dating again. I'm scared to hurt him, I'm scared he'll be disgusted by the fact that another guy is touching me. I don't know.

Has anyone felt this way? Do you guys have an explanation? Advice? :S Thanks

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You seem sure it's over with the ex, so I think you're just holding onto some old feelings. Once things are over and you can distance yourself from the hurt and wrong that occurred, we tend to romanticize the past. You will be a lot quicker to pull up the good memories vs the old. As far as hurting him by dating a new guy, don't let that stop you. Don't give up something good for a relationship that is in the past. I just about guarantee when he meets a new girl, he won't avoid her because he's worried about YOUR feelings. He's going to date her.

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    • Thanks for the advice! This is really making me feel better :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • The only possible reason I can think of, is that you're not completed over your ex, and still harbor some feelings for him.

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  • Wwll you don't owe your ex anything as he is your EX! so go out thereclive your life... although i think you should also thake some time as not having enough time to mourn can lead to having feelings for ex... so take your time

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think you feel bad for getting back into the swing of things so quickly. Generally speaking, I think that it is quite a punch in the stomach to find out that your ex started seeing someone else so quickly after a breakup. Seems like you still care for your ex since you care so much about what he thinks of you.

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    • Yea it really isn't easy seeing your ex with someone else. I know I'd be very sad if I saw him with someone else :S that's why I kind of feel bad..

  • Exs are exs for a reason because yhings didn't work out. The only reason you would feel this way is because you're probably not over him yet. You didn't get time to grieve. But if you're happy with your new interest, don't let people stop you. His loss, it shouldn't be yours.

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  • you still having some feelings for him.

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